Hey

I think divorce will be complete around February. The house is only in my name, I am the only one that made payments on it, but I live in a “kitchen sink” state which simply means that it doesn’t matter who brought in what and it’s all effectively split 50/50 regardless. (I purchased house before marriage while not together) I am also the one that holds 90% of retirement savings. So that’s split too.

Effing whatever I can’t wait to get out.

At the end of the day, I’ll sign over my house and keep my retirement. Here is my real question.

At first I thought I’d just rent, but my children are disabled and crazy and couldn’t live in an apartment. So I got to looking at comparable houses in the same neighborhood- which I can’t out right afford, some close to work (only 30 min away) and some in between.

The difference between what I could buy is a night and day difference between current city and closer to my work. If I didn’t have kids I’d just move to the city I work in. Since I do, and I am going to be heartbroken when I see them less, I am seriously considering cashing out my retirement ($160k) paying the fees and tax and living as close as I can to them. 5 minutes away and not 30. I know that fiscally I will be losing out on a lot of future retirement savings. But it seems worth it if it’s to see my kids more.

Basically I am envisioning myself on my death bed. I could be thinking “I wish I saw my kids more. “ and probably not “I wish I was dying $800k richer. “ so that is my line of thinking about saying eff it. I can save more money but I can’t buy more time.

I want to be close. I am willing to leverage the retirement to buy a house close by. At least it’s going to another asset and not like a Ferrari or whatever. The equity will just be transferred to a new asset.

Sorry this is rambling. My son was talking my ear off the entire time. Basically, even if it doesn’t make fiscal sense it still makes sense to me. But I am willing to be told I am way off and wrong on this

Just to make note. I am going to run this by some finance professionals as well