Separated for a year, paperwork went through a couple of weeks ago.

I'm 40, she's 33. We were together for 14 years.

I dealt with years of mental health issues and physical health issues that were ultimately caused by the former. I had a full time career as a paramedic and ultimately left it largely (but not entirely) due to her - at the end, suicidal and a diagnosis of Bipolar. She was emotionally abusive for years.

She finally found a career of her own, found stability. We moved to the city, together there for about four years.

I became unstable. I started drinking heavily and neglected her - but never abusive.

Before she left me, I became friends with a 29 year old neighbor and her boyfriend at the time. I wouldn't have had any idea my wife was leaving if not for them telling me - the day before.

The female friend and I became close, nothing intimate. She split with her boyfriend soon after my wife left. We spoke daily for about a year until she herself finally found some stability and decided that I wasn't worth her time, about two weeks ago - after I had always been there 24/7 and helped her through many serious situations (including a DUI) without judgment.

So, feeling dumped twice. Judged. Lonely. Living in the same house that my wife and I spent most of our years in, same bed. Friends have either left or died. I live in the middle of nowhere, retired people and minimum wage jobs.

But, still alive. Trying to push forward, make better friends, and reconnect with family.