My first actual post thread. I just want to remind everyone here that you need to be pushing yourself above everything.

My kids are very important to me but I can't help them if I don't get the help and support I need. The same applies to you.

I see numerous guys here who are shattered from terrible situations, I want to remind you to put yourself first. As men absolutely no one is going to come and try and help you. You need to put yourself ahead of your ex spouse and other situations to get your head put back on right. Ask for help if you need it, otherwise people will assume your fine.

In most cases women initiate the end of a marriage and in most cases they don't do it without careful planning over months or having a backup plan. Don't chase, beg, negotiate or anything, instead immediately look for legal support and support for you.

My story is very similar to many of yours. Wife of 12 years decided it was over and was no longer in love with me. I could detail it out but your only getting my perspective and a similar story to others.

I'm 40, both my parents have already passed and have no family in my city. I reached out for help from therapy. Joined a gym. Gave up alcohol for 3 months (now one drink in 2 weeks) and lost 36 lbs in the 5 months since we separated. We got an agreement signed very quickly and moved forward.

I am full of flaws, stubborn and many times way too nice for others putting them before me. I am still working through the healing, trust issues and rebuilding myself. I just want to tell you it will start to get better but you need to put yourself first.