I am looking at attorneys for a potentially high-conflict divorce. I have been given several referrals. There seems to be broadly two types of attorneys. The smaller attorney's who advertise themselves by their own name, and the larger firms who advertise the name of the firm, and have lots of marketing. I've had conversations with a few of them, and they seem really good. The ones I've talked with are individuals who have their own practices/firms which are named after them. Their websites look less professional, and more personal. In other words, they are smaller, perhaps Mom-and-Pop equivalents. There are some other referrals for attorneys who are part of larger firms. These are firms with very professional-looking websites, 5-10 attorney's listed on the website, and overall give the impression of a high-powered, expensive law firm. I am leaning towards the smaller firms/more personable attorneys. However, I have not yet had a consultation with the larger, more professional firms.

Please share, what has your experience been with attorneys from these two categories? Or does it matter? My goal is to have as collaborative a divorce as possible, while still fighting hard on a couple of key components. I don't want someone who fights over every little thing, and runs me up a huge bill, but I also don't want someone who rolls over for the other party, and leaves me with a less-than-satisfactory final judgment.

Also, does it matter if I have a female vs a male attorney? I am a male, obviously, and my ex is female, with custody, child support, and alimony on the table. There have been all sorts of accusations thrown around, so I am sensitive to needing to put my best foot forward, and avoid losing on important issues due to biases from the court.