Question re. Alimony?

nuclearxp · 2021-01-26T03:33:15+00:00

No. Get a lawyer and try reading a few pages in the sub to get an idea of what to expect.

No_more_BPD_2020 · 2021-01-26T03:41:07+00:00

This is why I suggest to everyone to get a therapist ASAP, like tomorrow.

It's very common for people here to have a suitcase full of documentation of infidelity and wrongdoing. AFAIK it doesn't matter to the courts. A divorce is a dissolution of a corporation so it's very accounting related in a lot of ways.

No reason to assume it has to go to trial. Get a consultation with a lawyer or 3, ask a lot of questions, and pick who you think is best for you. I wish I'd been more prepared. Good luck!

_splug · 2021-01-26T04:43:12+00:00

In California, I was abused in my relationship. When I went to custody hearing my ex wanted to move away. The court found she was guilty of domestic violence but still gave her custody with the move away. I am appealing the lack of 3340 findings right now.

I still pay a max child support and alimony.

AirSailer · 2021-01-27T00:39:07+00:00

Laws differ from state to state, but generally your wife cannot simply pack your bags and eject you from the house.

If your wife is being abusive you need to call the police AT THAT TIME or very soon after (i.e. leave then call the police). Then you will have a report of the incident which you can use as leverage in court.

You absolutely need to speak to a lawyer. It definitely sucks to go through the process, but this is something you don't want to fuck around with on your own. The fact that you're asking this question (and it's a good question) means you NEED a lawyer.

Prepare yourself to get fucked over by the family court system since you're a man. Hopefully having a lawyer will keep you from getting fucked over as bad.

Good luck, stay strong, and fight hard.

jimsmythee · 2021-01-27T17:04:13+00:00

There are too many variables in your situation.

You didn't say how long you were married (not together, but actually married) and what state you're in. And then Who makes more money. And if there's kids involved. Then there's the deal if your state has an alimony calculator. Then the actual judge you'll get.

I personally made out like a bandit. My pill popping exwife had valid prescriptions for everything. She claimed she was too sick to work. Which is true, I mean, who is going to hire someone always in the fog of narcotics and muscle relaxers? 11 year marriage. I got out with $0 alimony with 50/50 custody and I kept my house and my car. All she got was half of my 401k. 18 months post divorce, she was forced to move in with her parents as she was destitute.

If I got divorced in CA or MA or OR, I would have been left destitute. A more sympathetic judge would have taken all of our assets and divided them up 50/50, and then given her lifetime alimony. A judge might have given me visitation only which would have meant a lot in child support too.

Title	Question re. Alimony?
Author	Ok-Cat1446
Upvotes	5
Comments	9
Date	January 26, 2021 3:18 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/l54xwh/question_re_alimony/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/question-re-alimony.817511 https://theredarchive.com/post/817511

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