Reconciliation or Finding True Love a 2nd Time

Uhh--wait_what · 2025-07-22T23:25:29+00:00

I’m not going to lie, I think I got very lucky, but my experience might be helpful because the thing that makes my new lady and I work comes down to communication and patience. We are both very h like you. Both in our 40’s, both from long term relationships, both have kids, and both of us were going through the stages of deciding whether to leave or not when we met online. We bonded over a post i made about certain anxieties i was dealing with and after i moved out she and i met and hit it off really well. There was a 5 month lead time to us meeting where we just talked, got to know each other, and let things happen naturally. Neither of us were searching for anything new, but we connected so well before we met that things just grew exponentially when we finally met.

The key was and is that we listen and communicate very well with one another. We are patient with each other’s faults because both of us know we have only recently started processing the life changes we are making. We are also very fast from each other so the only way we can build trust is to speak plainly and be patient when we show our scars.

I think a lot of people come out trying to find something when they haven’t fully readied themselves to do so, and that leads to multiple misguided relationships.

DecentShallot6351 · 2025-07-22T23:19:37+00:00

If you guys got divorced for stupid reasons or lack of communication I would definitely try getting back together if you can. Stats show that getting married a second time with first wife has way higher success rate then starting over. I would go back to my wife if I could it was terrible communication on my part and little issues became big problems. Just my .02 cents.

DicksOut4Edamame · 2025-07-22T22:53:54+00:00

Why did you guys divorce?

And as far as connection goes, if yall divorced, clearly the connection you once had is no longer existent, so you have to find a new connection (if that’s what you want) anyway.

I was still struggling two years after my divorce, and that marriage was only 4 years old and produced one child. Give yourself a break man. I can’t imagine 2 decades and 4x the amount of child attachments. The fact that you’re still with us, is a win itself and one you should be patting yourself on the back for.

There’s a connection somewhere out there for you and it’ll find you when you’re ready. And maybe right now, you just need to continue to heal, forgive yourself, find your new groove, etc, etc.

You’ll be fine bro. Just give it time. Much love

Pro-IDGAF · 2025-07-23T20:42:31+00:00

if you don’t feel attraction to these other women, why bother? be single and enjoy that. maybe you find one someday that flips the switch when you least expect it.

as for reconciliation, no. not even a thought in my head

on 2nd true love, i wasn’t in love in the first place but my current gf is close to a true love but still more work than i wanted. women are exhausting. it’s sad too, because i love women. what they add to life. just not their fickle nature. i think i like the catch and release style better.

Title	Reconciliation or Finding True Love a 2nd Time
Author	RedWings1981
Upvotes	3
Comments	8
Date	July 22, 2025 10:15 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1m6rwq7/reconciliation_or_finding_true_love_a_2nd_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/reconciliation-or-finding-true-love-a-2nd-time.1557796 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557796

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