I think it's time to divorce. I'm nervous as hell and shaking, but I want out. I just called an attorney, and I'm staring at this consultation form, thinking about filling it out and doing this.

I'm thinking about all the pros, how I can get my life back, how I can start going to the gym again, how I won't have to live in literal filth anymore, how I can actually make a plan to pay off the debt without her adding more to it.

But I'm thinking about the cons. I do love her, we have an awesome house that I'm going to have to sell. It's the only house my kids have ever known. I'm going to have to share custody with her. I'm going to have to move back in with my mom for a while in order to rebuild my life.

I know in my heart it's the right thing to do. I'm 35 years old, my health has gone to shit, I'm 100k in debt. My house is so gross it's uncomfortable to be in. I spend every single weekend and most nights cleaning but it looks like nothing ever gets done.

I want out. I need out. But I'm scared.