I hope everyone is hanging in there. I discovered this subreddit last year during my darkest days. It has surely been a difficult roller coaster ride. I was served in February 2024 and after close to $120,000 in legal fees between me and my stbxw she has finally agreed to finalize the divorce. The idiocy of spending such an amount on attorneys instead of on my kids is mind boggling. She got almost exactly what she would have wanted if she didn’t involve the lawyers.

My biggest pain is the effect the divorce is already having on my kids. She keeps posting on social media how happy she is and how she was in an abusive relationship with a narcissist. She is so focused on herself the she doesn’t seem to care about her kids. The word narcissist is he newest addition to her vocabulary. I never cheated on her throughout our 18 years together nor physically abused her. She claimed financial abuse because I wanted us to watch our spending . I had a traditional mindset. I paid all the bills including mortgage, electricity, school fees, and even shared my credit card with her but it was not enough. She made almost six figures but I never expected her to pay any bills. Sometimes it is a negative thing to spoil someone. I believe the cancer that ate away our marriage was her addiction to social media. She was always looking at other people’s lives and her phone was glued to her hand even when she is taking a nap. A bad sign was when she started picking fights over relatively insignificant things. I figured she had made up her mind to divorce me but was looking for a legitimate reason. I believe she lost attraction for me once she got on social media. She started losing weight, she got on Ozempic. I later found out that there was another guy.

Signing the decree today felt surreal. September 11!The significance! Financially, I’m going to be fine. I was able to keep the primary residence and I got 50/50 custody. We will split my retirement account which is significant. Ever since I was served I have had no desire to even look at any other woman with affection or lust. I know if I put myself out there, it wouldn’t be too difficult however, I am a man in his early fifties who has just lost nearly 1.6 million dollars in assets. How can you ever learn to trust again. I hope to take a break and travel to Scandinavia to take it all in.

For all the guys going through divorce, I’ll say a prayer for you. This experience has been by far the most difficult experience I have ever had. I learned that the person that cares the most is the person that gets hurt the most. My take away is that if you want your kids, fight for them and let her know that you are willing to die on that hill. Also it helps if your income is through an LLC. I still believe in marriage only if you want kids. If not then there is little reason to marry except for religion.

Thank you for reading my rant. I have to go watch football 🏈.