Hi all. My wife and I (both 43) have been married basically 4 1/2 years. We’ve been physically separated since February- got legally separated since March because we needed to for other reasons. We still kept seeing each other though. Despite our struggles we both wanted it to work. I even went to her dads house with her for Fathers Day with her in the next state over. We got in a fight shortly after and stopped talking for a week or so, at which point she put in the paperwork to finalize the divorce on 7/1. We continued to talk until at least 7/7. We even had plans to have sex that night but got into an argument and since then have basically only communicated about logistical things. I opened the dating apps about a week ago because I was feeling desperate and lonely and really just wanting to feel loved again. I’ve been talking to a few women but only surface level things because I’m honestly not even sure I have the capacity to date again. She left for vacation with her mom and daughter last night. This evening she texts me saying how she’s miserable there because tropical vacations are our thing and it doesn’t feel right. She accused me of going on the apps which I admitted to and she immediately says she’s been seeing someone. She doesn’t call it dating but said she’s been out with him 5 times and goes home and cries. She also says she’s only kissed him. This means she’s been seeing him for weeks. Even since we last were being flirty with each other. And now I’m beyond gutted. I just feel hollow and empty. And it’s way late and I can’t sleep. And I wish I could stop obsessing. I don’t know how to make this pain go away.