Splitting custody days in half?

nerves76 · 2019-02-12T21:06:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

BobQuasit · 2019-02-12T21:26:11+00:00

Equating sleep time with waking time doesn't seem fair at all.

I tried 50/50. We used a two-week cycle in 2- and 3-day alternation. So it went like this:

Week one: Saturday/Sunday (Me), Mon-Tue-Wed (her), Thur-Fri (me)
Week two: Saturday/Sunday (her), Mon-Tue-Wed (me), Thur-Fri (her)

The math worked out, but it still pretty much sucked. Eventually she took up with an abusive felon and moved in with him, and our child chose to live with me full-time.

All that said, talk to your lawyer. The more complicated a divorce issue is, the more chance that it will end up going to court - so talk to your lawyer now, before things (possibly) fall apart. Good luck!

JohnnyMnemo · 2019-02-12T20:23:25+00:00

try to remember what's best for the kid

stent00 · 2019-02-14T13:46:28+00:00

NO don't accomodate her schedule. Your not together anymore and it just adds confusion and extra non nonsensical friving time which equals less time with your kids.

Burninator85 · 2019-02-13T16:16:54+00:00

A judge let's you do whatever you want, so long as both parties agree. You also don't need to follow the plan. The reasons to need one is to calculate support or to fall back on if you start fighting.

My recommendation. Put together a 2/3 day plan to have in your decree and tell her you'll work with her on days she needs help. Neither of you can plan your work/daycare/school schedules for the next 14 years, so you need to be a bit flexible.

Planning 12 hour splits leaves you open to some potential nastiness as well. Any time the child is sick or school is off, you are the parent ultimately responsible.

Child support is calculated on number of nights with each parent. I'm sure your child support officer would work with you here, but if your ex wanted money, she could easily request a reevaluation and come out with a high monthly payment.

Above all though, keep things civil between you. Let her know that you're only asking for this schedule to make it 50/50 from a legal standpoint.

ThrowawayAccount602 · 2019-02-15T15:12:15+00:00

You did not mention how old your child is and, to me, that is relevant since the custody arrangement needs to first suit the child and then the parents.

With that being said, this would seem to be way too much back and forth. I would encourage you to adopt any one of a variety of commonly accepted custody arrangements (e.g. every other week, 5-2-2-5 etc) and insist on that. My guess is a judge will be much more comfortable with a common arrangement than a goofed up one, particularly when you don't want it.

Title	Splitting custody days in half?
Author	nerves76
Upvotes	2
Comments	15
Date	February 12, 2019 8:19 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/apxqek/splitting_custody_days_in_half/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/splitting-custody-days-in-half.1181681 https://theredarchive.com/post/1181681

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