Tips on preparing documentation please

AudreyTooTwo · 2023-03-06T13:06:40+00:00

This is a great question and I'm surprised more men don't ask it. I watch family court videos on YouTube and I'm amazed how both men and women come to court woefully unprepared to show evidence. I remember one woman came with no paperwork at all, just her iPhone, and would endlessly scroll, looking for something to show the judge. And, let me start by saying the judge isn't interested in reading ANYTHING on your stupid 3-inch cracked plastic screen.

BTW, I'm no lawyer. But I've been through the wringer and I'll tell you what I wish I knew.

You'll need to create exhibits. Start using that specific word: exhibits. An exhibit can be a document, or a photo, or a video, or a police report, or a financial statement, and so on. Think of them as puzzle pieces that, taken together, tell a complete story.

Number your exhibits. If you want to be fancy-schmancy, you can get stickers that say "Exhibit #X". Just search for "exhibit stickers" on Amazon. Or, you can just write "Exhibit #X" at the bottom of each page.

Now, if you're headed to trial: IMPORTANT make three copies of every exhibit, and put them in binders. One copy goes to the judge, one copy goes to the opposing lawyer.

Last, I don't know anything about your case, but let me emphasize that your case (your story, your version of events, your argument) should clear, crisp, simple and easy to follow. You're telling a simple story that clearly moves from the beginning to the end. You're not writing a novel. Example: my ex-wife wanted to bring THOUSANDS of pages of e-mails into court. She honestly thought the judge would read through them. Nonsense. She could make exhibits out of one or two critical e-mails that proved her case. But don't think the judge will spend hours analyzing your documents.

You mentioned there is emotional, financial and physical abuse. That's a lot to process. Be very cautious about your emotional need to unload it all in court. The judge isn't a therapist. Don't come to court and say: "My spouse is a bad person!" I see that ALL THE TIME on YouTube. The judge will become exasperated immediately and ask, "What do you want me to do about it?"

If there is clear physical abuse, the judge will want to see exhibits that document it (police reports, doctor's reports, photos of the injury). DO NOT just write a novel about it. The judge won't care. Same with "emotional abuse" (whatever that is). If she just hurt your feelings, the judge won't care. Bring some exhibits like a psychologist's determination you're suffering from PTSD or whatever. And financial abuse? Be sure your exhibits clearly show your side of the story, not just stacks of bank records.

Good luck, brother. Maybe even watch some YouTube videos where you can see lawyers presenting exhibits to the court. Think: clear, crisp, simple pieces that, taken together, tell a complete story. If you find yourself writing about your feelings, it's not an exhibit.

^EDIT: ^a ^word

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2023-03-06T07:14:36+00:00

Most evidence is through testimony at trial. Witnesses give the testimony as to the facts and to establish and explain any documents (exhibits) that are used.

Before trial there are hearings and sometimes testimony is taken for the facts and the documents. But many court hearings do not take live testimony. Instead sworn statements of witnesses are used in the form of affidavits or declarations. Those statements of witnesses also are use to discuss the exhibits and to show that the documents are authentic.

Facts usually are things seen or heard by the witnesses which relate to the issues the judge has to decide.

Most documents need testimony of a witness in order to be used. Certified copies of some documents can be admitted without testimony such as marriage certificates, birth certificates and other court records.

There are books devoted to evidence as well as the Evidence Code used in that particular court. These have a large number or rules for what gets heard and what gets excluded.

But as a practical matter evidence is anything that you can get in before the judge that the judge will rely on.

As suggested a timeline can be useful to the judge but it is usually just an aid to the court to follow the testimony of witnesses. Spreadsheets showing assets and debts and proposed distributions are likewise helpful to the judge.

Start by writing your closing arguments for what you want from the judge and why showing the facts that you think you will get in evidence through your witnesses and documents/exhibits. Then go through the testimony of each witness to make sure you can get that fact or the document needed. Go back and forth with this process until the closing is supported by the evidence you wish to get in. You got to know where you are going in order to choose the path to get you there.

WartimeDad · 2023-03-06T04:07:07+00:00

It all depends on where you are in the case. Document. A timeline helps. A judge wants real demonstrable “evidence.” But more than that, he doesn’t care. What is your goal?

jimsmythee · 2023-03-06T16:05:55+00:00

Divorces are 98% financial. Bring pay stubs. W2's. Tax returns. Bring bank statements. House loans. 401k's. Bring evidence for both sides.

Then bring court evidence, past DUI's or arrests. Courts like concrete evidence.

If you have no evidence of physical abuse? Courts will not, repeat not, care. Courts don't care for emotional abuse either.

On the STBX side? Deal with money.

On the children's sides. Deal with custody.

That's it for now. Fill out your Affidavit of financial information as best as you can.

Note- on the above affidavit. My now exwife was desperately trying to say she was "too sick to work". So she put her income down as zero for the past 2 years. But I had a cell phone pic of her previous year's W2 showing that she could work. I submitted that as one of my exhibits.

salty-sheep-bah · 2023-03-06T18:13:40+00:00

I've kept some detailed timelines of specific incidents that spanned days but really most everything I'd ever need in in my journal. It's a win win really as I can spew my rage all day in the journal and I have a chronological document of pretty much every thing.

For example I randomly chose an incident. It was a day when my ex and I took the kids to a restaurant to have a "family" conversation and that happened on 24 July 2021.

Not that I would think anyone would drag a journal into court but anything I need to know or might need to extract is in there.

It almost feels like cheating when I can recall and launch into her face days, dates, sometimes the fucking time of day XYZ happened.

FUMoney · 2023-03-06T19:14:25+00:00

Read the third response. This is the way, exhibits. Also, you will want them printed out, and three copies minimum. You need a copy for yourself. A copy for the court. And a copy for the opposing side. And as recommended, mark/label your exhibits with a cover sheet, such as “Exhibit 1” and “Exhibit 2” and so on.

Now, for court filings, you may be required to file electronically. So, take your motion, your files, your exhibits, turn them into PDFs, and that is how you electronically file motions, documents, responses, exhibits, declarations, etc.

But when you are actually in court, arguing before the judge, use paper, standard 8.5 x 11. And follow what I said in the first paragraph, three copies. If you have any video or audio evidence, put it on flash drives, three of them, take to court. Also, look up how the court prefers to receive video evidence.

Finally, do not try to go the all-digital route when you are actually in court. Use paper copies for everything, to the extent you can. First, your digital copies can not easily be introduced into evidence or received by the court, while in court. Second, absolutely no one wants to wait while you fumble around on your tablet or laptop looking for this or that, least of all the judge.

So have your shit printed, organized in a binder, labelled, and be able to pull an exhibit or piece of evidence within 30 seconds of needing while live in court. Again, the process is different for your court filings, done outside of court, which usually is submitted electronically. That’s when you use PDFs, and you have ample time to organize and label electronically your submissions to the docket.

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-03-06T19:41:19+00:00

Focus on getting money for the attorney. This is why you don't DIY your divorce.

Title	Tips on preparing documentation please
Author	Smooth_Teaching_446
Upvotes	8
Comments	7
Date	March 6, 2023 2:08 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/11jl995/tips_on_preparing_documentation_please/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/tips-on-preparing-documentation-please.1154309 https://theredarchive.com/post/1154309

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