Trust issues after divorce

Consistent_Resist_22 · 2024-06-08T23:12:52+00:00

You move on when you are ready to move on.

Bruised and battered emotionally, you can still heal.

Make sure you’ve learned from the experience and try not to fall into the same patterns.

Narcissists will want you to move quicker when you’re ready.

Take your time…

grimxluna4ever · 2024-06-08T20:26:23+00:00

Haven't. In therapy to deal with trauma from a trauma bond.

UseResponsible4368 · 2024-06-08T18:09:53+00:00

There is nothing wrong with Setting and Enforcing boundaries. Nor is there anything wrong with enforcing how fast you want to take a relationship. It may not always have the ideal outcome, but you learned something - it's VALID - and please don't knock yourself around for adjusting your behavior based on empirical experience.

stupididiot78 · 2024-06-08T16:21:50+00:00

I got a new job years ago. When I first started, I was terrible at it. I made all kinds of mistakes on a regular basis. The thing is, I learned from my mistakes. I knew from experience how to spot mistakes before they happened and I also got really good at fixing them. New people were coming to me for advice on how to do things because of my knowledge base. They could be having a weird problem that they couldn't fix or even identify but I could because I remembered what happened when I screwed up doing the same thing.

I view relationships the same way. I made mistakes in the last one. I also know how to spot problems with the other person and their actions because of how bad things got with my ex. I may have made those mistakes once but I've learned from them and won't be making them again.

Also, sorry if you or your loved one had me as your nurse back then. I promise that I got better.

Amber-13 · 2024-06-08T15:44:38+00:00

Therapy to work on this, or choosing that if you want a partner, trust is high for any relationship and building it top priority. Sometimes you just aren’t ready and it’s more the body remembers and the mind- tricky lil thing. You’ll find someone who will work with you to build the trust.

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-06-08T14:45:55+00:00

I don't know, it's rough. I had a good relationship for 9 years, but one solo trip was all it took for my wife to get new dick, and well, we know what that does to a marriage.

It's hard to say 'just avoid those signs next time' as up until that trip, she always avoided infidelity situations. Heck, she even said before she left she was 'worried, as we hadn't been away from each other for more than week since we started dating' and idiot I was told her it would be fine, she'd be staying with her aunt, and her friends were there too, and I'd be out there in two months.

I'm with, I've been out with 9 women post divorce, and the best lady wanted to move really fast towards the marriage and kids thing after only a few months, and while she had done zero to make me not trust her in those months, I just wasn't ready after the disaster of how my marriage ended to risk destroying myself again.

edit: just wanted to add she was out with said friends when she cheated, and they were encouraging her the entire time.

MR-Ozmidnight · 2024-06-08T14:32:22+00:00

I'm sorry for you, but I feel your pain, I understand what you're feeling, but it's sad that you couldn't talk to your new GF about your feelings and what happened in the past, I do understand, thow, as it happened to me over 35 years ago, and I have trust issues to this day, not as bad as you but still trust issues, I don't think you get over them completely, as you never really get over the break-up. You can only do your best, although I think you may need some counselling to help with how you feeling as you don't want to wast your life thinking that you're going to be deceived by every female you meet.

Signal-Dot2326 · 2024-06-08T14:17:32+00:00

Were you seeing other people? Was she? What's the issue

UseResponsible4368 · 2024-06-08T18:08:14+00:00

Give yourself permission to vet better and protect yourself. Post Modern answers are inadequate as seen by every metric of sociology; many sectors have gotten 'worse' over the past decades.

There is a reason the men of old did things the way they did. Society insisted it was just superstitious old dumb trad stuff, nixed it, and here we are.

Never share accounts, open phone policies, they pay half the rent, don't marry again (under the law).

Title	Trust issues after divorce
Author	TheOtherwise_Flow
Upvotes	14
Comments	17
Date	June 8, 2024 12:53 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1db2bbh/trust_issues_after_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/trust-issues-after-divorce.1520931 https://theredarchive.com/post/1520931

Comments