Trying to save my marriage

bk2747 · 2025-10-27T17:01:15+00:00

Lady, he did all of that and you did have enough self respect to walk away, only person you need to take issue with is the woman in the mirror.

Since I’m usually advising men of this situation, I’ll give you the same advice. You need to move out. You shouldn’t be living together anymore. He’s not your husband, he’s not your boyfriend, he’s not your friend. Furthermore, you should t have been dealing with a man with kids anyway. Block everyone from his side, speed up the process with divorce and block him after.

Stop trying to “save” the marriage. The marriage is over. Stop being nice to him, no co-sleeping, no more physical contact, absolutely no sex. Move on emotionally, speed things up with the attorney.

Factastical · 2025-10-26T10:47:45+00:00

A person who believes they do no wrong, is called a narcissist. A normal person repents and knows they are very fallable. Everyone else has a truth telling problem

pk2at · 2025-10-26T08:47:55+00:00

99% of the time women make up fake stories in divorce court, seen this too often to believe otherwise. They don't like their husbands and confuse that with him being a narcissist.

ClippedWinng · 2025-10-26T06:43:58+00:00

I believe most men in this subreddit are in your position. We did so much for our partners and they left us. They decided they would be happier elsewhere and moved on before even telling us there was a problem. So you're not going to get too much insight into him, we will be relating to you.

If he is betraying your trust by speaking to his baby momma, then he's not the person you want. Does he know this was a boundary for you? If he did, then leave. Love yourself and don't stay where you're not wanted.

BurntYam · 2025-10-25T23:25:00+00:00

Yes. We do. And some of us aren’t capable of understanding what we’re getting held up on. Like, the emotional baggage, the lack of empathy for knowing we fucked up. I would, and i am the husband whose wife walked away. I have had a hard time with depression, alcohol abuse, and i now realize i have CPTSD and BPD. So, i can only hope i can figure out how to manage my depression better, and not beat myself up for not being the man I wanted to so badly be because i was too busy beating me up. And then, on top of the daily life of what is doesn’t get met feels like more failure. Void shout: And i’m sorry Hailey, and i’m trying my best because i know you are very special to me. I hope you’re doing okay.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-10-23T19:18:02+00:00

You chose a bad partner. Expecting him to now act like a solid man and apologize is a recipe for frustration.

You cannot build a future with a partner who is not honest. Divorce this guy and go find a good man to build a life with.

Hint: a solid man is not going to refer to his co-parent as his babys mamma.

Good luck.

MiloGoesToPorridge · 2025-10-23T14:51:50+00:00

His side of the story is missing, and if there's one thing the last year has taught me- it's that a woman's version of events, and the real version, have about 25% truth in common at the most.

I don't mean to be rude, I really don't, but one look at your other posts suggests to me that you're no picnic yourself.

Some folk are simply wrong for each other, and bring out the worst in each other, and that's all there is to it.

Best of luck.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2025-10-23T11:39:31+00:00

Be wary of people who never apologize, that's the biggest red flag I wish I haven't ignored.

Frito_P3ndejo · 2025-10-23T11:01:59+00:00

2-sides to every story and each of you contributes to the tale….being accountable for any of the things you could have done better and reconciling the things you did wrong are usually the only closure you’re gonna get. For me my stbx presents narcissistic traits so she’ll admit to anything, everything is zero sum with her….her bad behavior towards me caused me to behave badly back and probably vice versa….It doesn’t justify or absolve me ….had to accept this is what a toxic relationship looks like. Every situation is different, in mine I don’t want a divorce but I can’t be the only one wrong, I can’t always be the villain, I can’t always be the one who bends and contorts themselves, that’s not love. So really while I don’t want a divorce that’s the best option for me regaining my dignity and self respect. We probably have to cohabitate for another 6 months and it sucks, but I focus on the bittersweet light at the end of the tunnel when it’s done, until then you just gotta be patient. “Patience is not simply the ability to wait-it’s how we behave while we’re waiting “

Title	Trying to save my marriage
Author	Immediate_Book_2031
Upvotes	0
Comments	16
Date	October 23, 2025 9:42 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1odyxw2/trying_to_save_my_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/trying-to-save-my-marriage.1564801 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564801

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