It’s been about a month since I’ve posted. I think I’m going to do this monthly until I don’t care anymore. She’s been gone 9 months.

If you believe in the 5 stages of grief, I’m firmly in the depression stage. I don’t really cry anymore. I’m just tired. I still think about it a lot but it’s in a different, more blunted way.

It’s not all bad. I took my daughter and nieces to NYC last week and had a blast. That gave me a jolt I needed to “snap out of it” for a bit. I came home and promptly got Covid. Spent 5 or 6 days on the couch, all alone. And honestly that alone time was just what I needed. I stopped worrying about what I need to or should be doing and just watched the World Cup and TikTok. It kind of got me over my fear of being alone, which was a big thing for me.

Now it’s mostly shame and humiliation from being divorced twice. I’ll have to deal with that at some point. Or maybe I don’t have to deal with it? Some people don’t seem to have any shame about anything at all.

Anyway, that’s for letting me vent a bit. Hope yall had a good Father’s Day