What are some initial coping methods?

James_Jimothy · 2024-04-11T11:08:27+00:00

Journal, lift heavy shit and participate in group sports to get the energy out. Read up on stoicism (The Daily Stoic, Meditations, The Obstacle is the Way).

Grand_Alps9214 · 2024-04-10T22:32:05+00:00

Cry and allow yourself to cry.
Therapy helps
Cry some more. It’s good for you.
If you go further get a mediator or lawyer if required.
Understand yo-yo of emotions.
Exercise (my opinion)
Don’t drink (or don’t drink excessively)!
Have friends to support you

I cried when she asked for divorce. For roughly one week I had the last 7 years through my mind. Then I continued training like a mother fucker. Got a mediator and the mediation was tough for me. And then the occasionally admin talks with her were tough on me. My divorce is going through in 2 weeks and I couldn’t be happier. Allow to mourn the loss and to go through the stages of loss.

My 2 cents.

Paneristi56 · 2024-04-10T18:05:30+00:00

Therapy, specifically CBT. That got me through a really bad divorce.

Though it’s not easy, you need to learn to really focus ONLY on the moment in front of you.

you can’t change the past. It’s. Just. Done.
the future will happen…in the future.
the current moment is RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. Get through the next hour, the next ten minutes, the next minute, and then deal with whatever’s next when that gets here.

It’s hard! Also, it gets better.

Good luck.

Character_Let_3982 · 2024-04-10T17:18:31+00:00

Meditate. The entire "acknowledge thoughts but don't participate" thing really helped me a lot. But there are other useful tools there.

Journal. My therapist says hand-written is a must, something about tactile engaging the mind differently. It's a good way to work through thoughts and leave them behind on paper. Therapist also says to not re-read. All of this is a bit too mushy holistic hippy bs. But, go figure, it did help.

Find a support person who is pragmatic. This was my dad. He broke up everything down logically and basically helped me focus without being ripped apart with emotions.

Exercise. Physical exhaustion is better than mental exhaustion. A friend (female) began running marathons during her separation. She said it changed her life. I simply ride an exercise bike.

captainchippsixx · 2024-04-10T16:56:18+00:00

You need to have the list on your head of all the huge negatives with her. Focus on that and say fuck it. My list is about 5 years old but I can rattle them off. Cheater early in marriage 1- lack of sex 2- disrespectful 3- financially irresponsible 4- can’t keep a job 5- always on Facebook 6- never helped me when I was sick 7- everyone was more important than me 8- grass is greener mentality on everything 9-bully and controlling of what I could d

Do as a good mom but a crappy wife

You need to slap yourself man.

DicksOut4Edamame · 2024-04-10T16:09:52+00:00

I picked up a few new hobbies. Blew some cash on fun stuff - motorcycle, moto parts, drone, etc. It all allowed me to tinker away on stuff with my hands, which allowed me to escape the awful place that was my head, for a few moments.

Now, I still have the hobbies and have picked up even more and I couldn’t care less about the cheating ex wife. You, too, will be ok. Chin up and soldier on, mate!

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-10T15:52:02+00:00

Once you realize she's one-of-a-million not one-in-a-million the pain will stop.

The point of marriage isn’t to endure it. There is no prize for making a miserable marriage last a long time. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership cemented by attraction, affection, respect and love that you enter into to make it easier for both of you get through life together. It’s like you become a team of horses, and you both help pull the wagon, and it’s easier with two than with one. But being yoked in a team with a partner that isn’t pulling is worse than having no partner at all. Sometimes you have to give up on her. Not because you don’t care, but because she doesn’t.

Title	What are some initial coping methods?
Author	chrisdiaz73
Upvotes	18
Comments	11
Date	April 10, 2024 3:48 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1c0otnq/what_are_some_initial_coping_methods/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-are-some-initial-coping-methods.1514694 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514694

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