What do I do to better myself?

Dust_barrels27 · 2024-12-05T11:21:45+00:00

Tell me I’ll be real with you hopefully like you like drugs or like to drink that shit up a lot and also just try to stay out like those clubs but the bars not like go to baseball games hockey games and just like politics and don’t don’t be doing that do whatever you want I mean like is great tennis do that kind of stuff. Don’t forget your little little boozy woozy never heard nobody a little little snippy. Got a little Dooley pop a little line of you, you could chill out politick crispy little electricity on the main line family do something for yourself. Get your head out the line and thanks.

LaffingGrass · 2024-12-03T17:36:18+00:00

My therapist recommended for me to “take back my space”. I bought new furniture, pictures, rearranged the bedroom, got a different bed frame, got different sheets and comforters, new night stands, new coffee table, just about everything. I took my space back successfully and it helped.

I stopped dating because I realized I was looking for distractions and not a relationship and (it’s not fair to them) it made me think of my own self worth and how I wanted and needed to be treated. I got a notebook and wrote all the qualities I wanted in a partner, what I needed and what some of my boundaries were. It felt good because I had never thought about it before, my friend says by doing that I manifested my destiny because I’m now with a great girl that exceeds all those things I wrote down in that notebook. Not saying that’s exactly what’s going to happen but it’s good to be honest with yourself and figure out what you want and need and to know where you’re willing to draw the line because you deserve a good life too.

Look into hobbies, find out what YOU like to do and what makes you happy. Be kind to yourself and don’t shit talk yourself either, it wasn’t healthy for me. Give yourself some grace and know things will get better.

Technical-Mammoth592 · 2024-12-03T17:16:17+00:00

Get in the gym, try and build a 6 pack! what I am doing! Nothing wrong with going out and finding new friends to occupy your time, maybe you'll find one you really like and will distract you even more!

Positive_Rub_6696 · 2024-12-03T15:11:28+00:00

I’m an alcoholic in recovery and have found that the “program” of the 12-steps has made me a MUCH better man.

Responders so far have snatched the low-hanging fruit of fitness. Next level? Take a “personal inventory” (Step 4 from AA). You don’t have to be an alcoholic to do this. It’s a matter of self-investigation, identifying your fears, resentments, sex conduct and where you have caused harm to others. Be searching, fearless and thorough in this endeavor and I’m sure you will discover areas of your life you can work on.

The 5th step is sharing this inventory with another person. Venting this helps to purge it. 6 & 7 are focusing in on knowing what your “character defects” are and that awareness is the first step to trying to not act them out. 8 & 9 are making amends to people you’ve harmed.

When I first got divorced, I believed it was “all because of her.” In working these steps, I came to recognize MY PART in the demise of my marriage. I’m a different person today than I was even 5 years ago (been sober nearly 7 years).

You need not be an alcoholic to benefit from this exercise.

Build your tribe, if you don’t have one. Men you trust and can really talk to and do things with. This is an area of my life I neglected while I was married.

Oh, and if you don’t already, make your bed every day. It’s a simple thing that both gives you a sense of accomplishment as you begin each day, and it’s far more pleasant to return to a made bed as you end each day.

Exactly65536 · 2024-12-03T10:45:55+00:00

You play a game of life, and the score is measured against a few objective criteria. You have sex, family, friends, economy, creativity, trance/prayer, studying, job, helping others, love, health and image. That's about it, the contents of life.

Divorce usually implies certain degree of failure in the areas of family, love and sex; often it touches your economy too (sometimes to the extent of ruining it).

Generally, the recommendation is to strengthen anything and everything else. Drop alcohol and smoking and start running to improve your health. Work diligently to get that promotion and raise. Get new clothes, a haircut, do whatever people do to look better. Learn a new language or a marketable skill. Etc, etc.

Gattsama · 2024-12-03T09:09:35+00:00

A man needs to be fit. Physically fit, emotionally fit, mentally fit, and financially fit. In that order, they feed into each other.

Physically fit means working out, but also good healthy (diet, no smoking, no drugs, brushing your teeth, etc). People down play physical fitness, but it's one of the best things you can do for your total health.

The goal is a new lifestyle. You exercise to be fit and healthy. Find something you like and build slowly. I personally recommend calisthenics as they are free and can be done anywhere (check out youtube). Dame with walking, running, hiking.

The key is consistency. This is something you do now rather you feel like it or not. So start small because you're going to not want to work out one day, and you want to push through that. The more tou push through. The more you learn discipline, the more disciplined you become, the better your life will be.

That rolls into emotional and mental health.

Stop and think about the ideal life for yourself. Then, slowly start to make that a reality. You need to develop and cultivate a new mission in life. And then slowly drop everything that is not part of that mission (which has multiple targets).

thelostfather_922 · 2024-12-03T08:49:34+00:00

Yehh FWB is the worst thing you could do…. You need to get to the gym, and read, meditate, understand where those lonely feelings are coming from. You need to be ok with being alone and being able to find the things you love to do by yourself or with friends so that when the time comes you want to share those with a companion and know your not doing it just to be with that person. It’s not easy and hurts at times, but once you get it, it’s very freeing and allows you to truly enjoy life.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2024-12-03T03:46:44+00:00

Forget the FWB. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.

No drinking. No drugs. Eat well. Lift weights. Walk. Meditate. Get your proper sleep. Pray.

I suggest starting with a Road Less Traveled- M Scott Peck. No more mister nice guy. I throw in some budgeting books. The Money Guys. The little red book of common sense investing. The Boglehead series. I love Bob Rotella - Golf is not a game of perfect.

You get the idea.

Nighthawk2824 · 2024-12-04T02:28:23+00:00

Start eating better and start doing push ups everyday. That’s what I did and it really has helped a lot. Change your mind set.

Title	What do I do to better myself?
Author	sourappleflavorsaver
Upvotes	5
Comments	9
Date	December 3, 2024 3:38 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1h5eb7i/what_do_i_do_to_better_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-do-i-do-to-better-myself.1537474 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537474

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