What does therapy look like?

Sam_N_Emmy · 2025-10-21T12:52:20+00:00

I agree that sometimes it feels repetitive by in my experience a therapist helps give you the tools to work through your issues. Mine basically helped me discover my triggers and work through some past abuse. Then she gave me the tools to find ways to cope and heal.

fiddsy · 2025-10-21T00:20:54+00:00

first off - can take awhile to actually find a good therapist or a therapist that is a good fit.

I good therapist doesn't just sit their validating you... Part of it IS making you self aware of patterns but a good therapist will teach you skills to address, handle and change those patterns or issues.

Same with a couples therapist / counsellor.

Our first couples therapist actually left us in a worse place than when we started.. completely the wrong fit.

Our second was 100x better and better suited for us - unfortunately it takes 2 doing the work and after a year, my wife was still prioritising everything over doing the work and we are now separated.

I do believe that the majority of therapists are bias against men - probably because most of them tend to be female. Our first therapist made so many generalisations to the point that my wife actually begun to correct her. While our second one was/is great and extremely balanced - she tends to still be more sympathetic of the female experience.

It was for that reason I see a male therapist for my individual work to try balanced the scales a bit.

I think the main reason couples counselling/therapy fails so much is because people go 2 late when they are on the brink of ending it. Or both are not fully invested.. and/or have not found a good therapist!

if your not getting value out of it - ask your therapist for more practical solutions or find another therapist.

HotCut100 · 2025-10-20T23:42:25+00:00

I used individual and couples therapy. Couples therapy helped de-escalate some situations and call her out on some of her abusive BS. When the couples therapist has an individual session with you and comments how your ex can’t seem to recognize the obvious hypocrisy, you know you’re not in the wrong.

Both the individual and the couples therapists help me better analyze and understand the situation so I could gain confidence going forward. When your whole world gets yanked out from under you, and you have familial shame coming, getting some perspective and grounding is incredibly helpful when moving into the aggressive negotiations phase of the divorce. At the very least, it helps clear the baffles of emotional confusion so you can have a clear head to fight for what is yours and the interests of your children.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2025-10-20T23:37:51+00:00

It looks like a heaping pile of stinking dog shit.

It doesn't work.

You have to want to change. And they don't want to change, they want to change you.

Its a bunch of psycho-babble bullshit of "oh, that sounds difficult for you" and "use I feel" statements.

If she cheats, it's over for you bro.

She needs to know if she cheats, she loses her whole built up life because you, are gone. This is the mentality she has to have.

Title	What does therapy look like?
Author	RemarkableDonut2676
Upvotes	7
Comments	14
Date	October 20, 2025 11:32 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1obxdt7/what_does_therapy_look_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-does-therapy-look-like.1564591 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564591

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