Basically writing this to make me feel better because being alone with my thoughts sucks and if you guys have any advice I would appreciate it a ton. We were high school sweethearts together for 7 years married for 2. No kids. I’m active duty enlisted but work a nice schedule and don’t get deployed.

It started with her getting a new job. She got this new job at a gym and made new friends. Her one friend in particular Brittany is going through a divorce and for seem reasonable these two really clicked. My wife spent all her time with her gym buddies after work constantly going drinking. About a month ago she starts getting wierd when she was going out and just not replying ever until she got home and then coming home super later. Or once not coming at all and telling me she slept at brittanys. This all happened during my work shift since I typically work a 48 hr shift. She comes up to me out of the blue and blames she’s not happy on me. Tells me all these things I need to fix about myself and she wants to separate to find herself. I say okay on the condition that we go to couples therapy. There are 100s of red flags for her but I ignore every single one because I care about her and want to fix this.

I’m not happy but I’m struggling to make this marriage work and giving in to her demands in a attempt to make this work. I help her move out her stuff. She gets completely moved out and then later that night I get a call about her freaking out about she left her laptop. No big deal come get it in the morning I tell her. I’m curious though so I go through it. It’s a MacBook so her iMessages get backed up on to it. I find A TON of messages that she was deleting off her phone. How she was staying the night and having a affair with this bartender she met out when she was drinking with the gym ladies. I found all the texts where her and her friends are hiding the affair until the divorce. She never had any plans to fix this. The worst part is ALL of her coworkers knew about the affair. And not a single person who worked at the gym reached out to tell me. They supported her. Like a woman empowerment moment. I found all the texts mocking any romantic gesture I tried and just mocking me in general. All the while she was lying to my face and I thought it was all okay. I truly blame her friend Brittany for corrupting my wife and just constantly talking about how my wife would be so much happier single. And then supporting her lies and helping hide the affair.

That night I told her I don’t want to try and work on this and want a divorce. Blocked her on everything except for email. She’s since been spreading lies about me and trying to justify her affair. It all hurts so much. I dream about her. I still miss and love her. I don’t think I could ever forgive her though and she doesn’t love me back. Im really struggling in every way possible.

We agreed to a no fault texas divorce. Luckily she wants nothing of mine. Only thing I screwed up on was in my rage of finding that stuff. I threw her work bag and laptop outside and told her to come pick it up and where it was at. She never showed and someone else grabbed it.

She wanted so badly for this divorce but now won’t cooperate or communicate so I can effectively file on my own. I can’t quite afford a attorney and neither can she so it’s our only option.

Thanks for reading this I’m sorry it’s a wall of text. But it’s a off my chest moment to people who know what it’s like.