How do I stop being so easily influenced by redpill thinking?

CalmLake1 · 2023-08-23T17:57:54+00:00

The one thing that helped me rethink a lot of the redpill rhetoric is trying to see how much of things they say I relate to, and legit makes sense for someone like me. Let me first say I'm a 23 yo man starting out in early adulthood.

There's men and women on these videos and podcasts around my age, or a freshly divorced person with some bitterness left, saying some of the most ridiculous shit I've heard in this whole gender war bs. A few examples . Never date a single mother. These men hold all types of STDs. Women will divorce you and take half your shit. Men are predators and not good fathers. Hypergamous women ruin good men. City girl, hood niggas, we hate each other, reeeeee.

Ngl I have a bit a fear. Wondering to myself when the bad shit they talk about on these podcasts are gonna happen to me. I really sat back with myself and analyze, and be real with myself. I'm a fucking dork. I like toys and collectibles, I'm a blerd. I pass the time with fantasy lore and festivals, and things deemed " lame" in this society. When the fuck am I going to go through any of this extra shit these podcasters are going through. I don't really have anything if value to my name yet so divorce isn't really scary to me. City girls ain't looking my way, I'm not their type. I'm a blerd. I'm most likely going to find another blerd. It's not hard to find them. There's just things that are going to happen to me.

Oh not to mention I'm a regular man starting out in my career According to Tiktok study experts. Being an average person is the same as being mediocre, and not worth the time of day. Great! So that means my chances of not getting dogged out increases. I swear you have mfs ( men and women ) on the videos talking about how they will never someone "lesser" than them, them in the same breath cry and sob, and scream how much the SO, sneaky link, FWB, situationship running them through the mud. You know, the ones they praised for being " high value". If this is the benefit for being with the best, I'm a just take my my mediocre ass to somewhere I'm appreciated.

I didn't mean to rant at the end but all Im Tryna say is don't take their words as gospel. Their miserable. All they have left is talking about is each other. Nothing going on for them. Making money off of our insecurities. I'm telling you, as a fat 23yo black man, who thought I wasn't worth anything, there's someone who will like you for you.

dumbbitchcas · 2023-08-23T16:54:41+00:00

I think going out and interacting with normal people is the best way to help it

incredulitor · 2023-08-23T17:37:16+00:00

You sound like you've already taken yourself pretty far down the path of learning to critically evaluate things you hear against the standard of what you actually see in your own life, and what might be motivating the things you hear beyond being simple reports of global truths. I hope you're proud of yourself for that - genuinely. I'm sure it happens more often than we hear about, but it's not something people are often reporting back on. What else in your mind, your life or your environment do you think supported that process?

It also sounds to me like you've done a pretty clear job of identifying situations that are harder, and the reasons for them. That gives you a lot to work with. You know: who these people are, what they say, when you see them, and the process that happens internally for you after you've talked to them. That makes the whole process, including your mind state coming out of these interactions when you don't feel as good, something you can reflect on. That in itself can be a fairly direct antidote to falling back into this kind of thinking. Feel free to add to it though.

A few pieces of validation that I think might make this easier: part of why TRP-like content is effective in reaching people is exactly that it's emotionally provocative. It's hard to insulate yourself from. Others' emotions and mind states can also be hard to insulate yourself from. So even if it's true what you're saying about yourself that you're more easily influenced than others, it's probably not true that other people feel none of that pull or are absolutely insulated from any reaction that these people or their words provoke. If you can recognize that about yourself and other people, it might help emphasize different approaches that don't involve being completely unaffected. If you can say to yourself things like, "OK, maybe they're going to get close enough to a true point that I'll feel drawn in by it at times, but even while I'm turning that over, that doesn't have to mean that I'm giving up on any possibility for positive interactions in the future", then you're probably on the right track. If you can try to have things lined up to do for yourself to bring yourself back to yourself after these interactions, that could also help.

Couple other concrete exercises you could try:

Social identity wheel - who are you, in which contexts, and why? Is that actually who you want to be? Who would you want to be more of? Drilling down into self-definitional questions like this can help being less swayed by people who are living very different lives than you or thinking very differently than you would want to.

5 steps to better emotional boundaries - it is a skill that you can build up to react less strongly to others' emotional states and to be more in touch with your own separate reactions.

Give it a shot.

bluemagex2517 · 2023-08-23T16:55:16+00:00

I don't bother changing their views because it's futile

I wondering if challenging them a little bit, not with the goal of changing their mind, but just standing up for what you believe in might help.

It doesn't have to be confrontational. It can be more of a skepticism sort of angle.

Someone says something like, "girls are always looking to jump to the next, better guy."

And maybe you respond with, "I don't know, man. You can believe what you want, but I don't see it that way. Some are like that for sure, but lots of women are faithful even when they could definitely do better. That's just what I've observed."

Or whatever.

And they may have a counter for whatever you say, but that doesn't matter. At least you got your own thoughts out there. Let them sit in the same space as their bullshit.

Maybe it's not like this, but it sounds like you don't want to deal with them so you let them talk all their shit and you just listen. Doing that takes away your own agency and gives them, and by extension their bad ideas, all the power.

I wouldn't necessarily argue with them, but if you just say you disagree and hold your ground a little, that might be able to have a positive affect. Right now you're just listening to them and then those words weasel into your mind. If you make sure you have an equal say, maybe your own words will get an equal say in your brain.

rojaporcelana · 2023-08-23T21:04:02+00:00

Got to therapy so your past traumas or insecurities can’t be used as a weakened entry point for redpill ideologies.

Beneficial-Put-1117 · 2023-08-30T19:34:34+00:00

Reading about sociology, especially how socilization IS the one thar influences how men and women behave, helps a lot. By reframing how you think into "humans behave a certain way not because it is genetic or whatever, but because of how they were raised".

Read onto how the patriarchy harms men themselves, and try to dig deeper into why certain things such as dating many women is seen as a status symbol. Basically, by trying to understand how things work, you'll find nuance in everything.

Arm yourself with knowledge, this is how it helps. Learn how to recognize good research from bad research, and talk to people.

Reas the perspective of the groups that the red pill puts you up against... it can help you understand a bit more of the trouble of women and LGBT people.

antidense · 2023-08-23T17:31:38+00:00

Maybe just remind yourself that it's not going to work if every football team plays using the same playbook. The redpill might work for a particular set of games, and may work at first until people catch on. Humans adapted to be adaptable, so any particular dating strategy is going to be quickly countered by other strategies.

tcuis · 2023-09-03T07:13:19+00:00

It's quite easy. Read The Book - The red pill ideology by Cynthia Payne. It goes into all of the famous claims by red pill gurus and debunks them with scientific research & study. There isn't literally any red pill claim to be taken seriously besides the self improvement part.

Ayyyla · 2023-09-20T03:39:48+00:00

Empathize with women. Listen to women. Put yourself in their shoes instead of telling stories to yourself that center you. Remember that women are not any one thing. Women are varying, dynamic, imperfect individuals. Full of our own preferences, insecurities, and faults—and worthy of a basic level of respect (as everyone is).

Title	How do I stop being so easily influenced by redpill thinking?
Author	Morcoveanu
Upvotes	14
Comments	26
Date	August 23, 2023 3:31 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/15z76z1/how_do_i_stop_being_so_easily_influenced_by/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-do-i-stop-being-so-easily-influenced-by.1229517 https://theredarchive.com/post/1229517

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