How to actually meet people Irl

VisceralSardonic · 2024-07-21T21:36:55+00:00

Do you have hobbies? Could you join a local soccer team, art class, book club, choir, etc.? Volunteering helps too. Volunteer at a library, an animal shelter, political campaign, whatever.

Do yourself a favor though. Don’t even consider dating anyone or going after someone until you’re at least a month in. The exact timing is arbitrary, but the approach isn’t. As a woman, I can tell you that if a guy came in to volunteer (or whatever) at my hobby for the first time and immediately and obviously cruised for ANY women to fuck, it would be the biggest turn off in the world. Enjoy the activity for a while, make friends, and see if you genuinely connect with anyone. Otherwise, you’re burning bridges, possibly including a real hobby that will make your life better, and possibly including the other people you’ll meet on the way.

meleyys · 2024-07-21T21:10:19+00:00

Firstly, 21 is not "older" to be inexperienced. Your lack of experience is pretty normal at that age.

Secondly, please have SOME standards and boundaries. Not doing so will make you come across as desperate and could result in you getting hurt.

As for where to meet people, if you're nerdy, find local game stores and look for events there. Maybe get into Magic: The Gathering or Dungeons & Dragons. I've also heard good things about Meetup.com.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-07-21T21:24:47+00:00

Stop trying to meet people exclusively for a relationship and instead focus on living your best single life. And chances are that isn't staying in your room all day.

bluemagex2517 · 2024-07-21T23:45:04+00:00

I'm glad your trying to get out and meet people and socialize! That's a good first step.

Places I socialized when I was over 21: Dive bars (I personally love dive bars and don't like clubs), reddit meetups when I lived in a different city, Ultimate Frisbee (until I turned 35 and my ankles and knees started to be old), Adult Dodge-ball league, Adult Kickball League, Magic the Gathering casual events, board game nights held at bars (this is something I still do, and is one of the best ways to meet awesome people), Disc Golf (this is what I mostly do currently, though it's mostly men), going to small venue concerts or smaller music festivals, Trivia nights, and probably others that I'm not thinking of.

I met my current girlfriend of 7 years via okcupid, but I had met and went on dates with many women before that I met through friends I made at those events and social gatherings, or met directly at those events and social gatherings.

spiral_dinosaur · 2024-07-22T11:25:03+00:00

Well, what do you like to do? What are you interested in? You've got to find some things you'd like to try.

What have you tried so far?

You also need to try and approach these situations with a bit more confidence in yourself. You are not "bottom of the barrel unattractive", and you do not need to "compensate". You need to know who you are, you need to go out and show that person to the world, you need to discover more about who you are by being out there in the world with other people, and you need to respect yourself enough that you wouldn't get yourself into an abusive relationship with someone you don't like just for the sake of it.

sognenis · 2024-07-22T00:53:06+00:00

Good luck OP!

As others say, focus on your interests, hobbies, goals. Being in a relationship is not a goal and should not be a focus. It will come in time, but first you have to be happy within yourself, with or without a partner.

Have interests, have passions, speak earnestly to people. Join groups via Meetup or similar - book clubs, sporting groups, chess clubs, games groups, walking groups, hiking, whatever you like! But go with the intention of having fun, developing your hobby/skill, and to make friends/acquaintances (not to find a partner).

Don’t see women as only a friend or a partner/potential partner. Talk to them as a person, as an equal, without any expectation or suggestion of “more”.

buzluu · 2024-07-22T09:09:24+00:00

You could go and play boardgames,go for language exchange nights.Be curious about people,ask them about their passions.Have a genuine interest about them.Just say wbat u like about them without asking or waiting something back.And have fun.

ComprehensiveHat8073 · 2024-07-22T16:08:09+00:00

Is meetup.com still around? It's a great portal for meeting people in your general area for various local events and meetup groups based on interests for everyting from meditation to biking to potlucks to you-name-it.

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-07-24T18:14:40+00:00

As long as you shower, get haircuts, and are wearing clean clothes, then you are not bottom of the barrel unattractive; and I have met women that even found those things negotiable. Ew.

Grand-Connection-234 · 2024-07-22T07:35:21+00:00

21 older?

Please don't take this the wrong way have you looked at getting help for your low self esteem issues ? It's not normal for someone to put themselves down like this.

My partner is 67.... He's older....

You are 21 with the ability to do many things.

My ex has low self esteem, he's now with a women who is insecure (because he doesn't feel worthy of better, which he said himself) and now he doesn't see his child. (His choice).

I do not want anybody even a total stranger on the internet to do what he has done (enter an unhealthy relationship for the sake of their self esteem)

Also dating sites are a scam. Generally it is mostly blokes on it with a small group of women. It's a sausage fest and as a women I won't even go on one.

But look at help first, Please do not place everything into having a relationship. There is more to life like travelling etc.

This is from a woman's perspective.

Be happy in yourself, Then look for love :)

Edit:

Reading the comments has really made me sad. You can have boundaries for a healthy relationship regardless of attraction.

Title	How to actually meet people Irl
Author	RedditDetox
Upvotes	3
Comments	14
Date	July 21, 2024 8:52 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1e8wb56/how_to_actually_meet_people_irl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-to-actually-meet-people-irl.1524926 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524926

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