I’ll be honest I’m a loser

Newbie1955 · 2021-11-14T14:52:06+00:00

You sound like my hubby when I first met him :) We met in college--he was returning to finish a degree he'd abandoned years earlier. Obese, living with mom, no job.

My advice is to focus on you instead of your external indicators. Take steps to get healthier. Read some books that interest you (both fiction and non fiction) to expose yourself to new ideas and keep your mind working. Find a job and get a budget so you are meeting your own needs and paying down debt. Honest to God if you just start making progress on these three things then you'll be leaps ahead of a ton of men who aren't making progress. The key here is self improvement--meeting the goal or achieving the goal isn't as important as simply doing the work to consistently make progress towards the goal.

Hubby later told me he'd basically given up on women and decided he'd always be alone, so he stopped trying. We were on the same degree path in a small college, so we and a few others were all in the same classes and we formed a friend group. Hubby was literally the first man I ever met who made me feel like he wanted to spend time with me and was interested in me as a person and not just willing to tolerate spending time with me in the hopes of eventually getting into my pants. He's still my best friend and we're coming up on 15 years together with two kids. Best of luck to you.

Coollogin · 2021-11-14T14:33:21+00:00

You moved to a new city. Let's work with that.

Locate whatever serves as your city's alternative newspaper. It may well be online now. But use that and any other resources you can to learn about interesting or even just weird events in your city. And then go to as many as you can. Invite your roommates to go, or go alone. Just go. Go to events you ordinarily wouldn't dream of attending. Poetry slam. Lumberjack competition. Senegalese festival.

Focus on having new experiences and new adventures and engaging with your new city. Elevate your mood without requiring a partner. Meet tons of new people and expand your social network. Eventually someone in that network will introduce you to your next girlfriend.

vcreativ · 2021-11-14T18:48:17+00:00

Let's try a change in perspective:
* You left RP. * You've had a gf in high-school. * Some women are super friendly to you. * You're tall.

No offense, but that's clearly not all bad.

Overweight -> exercise, specifically steady state cardio. Eat better, no refined sugar, no alcohol, no processed meats. No takeaway of any kind. Get cooking.

Clearly your finances need sorting. Jobs in bars or something should pay most bills right now, really ask yourself what sort of flat you can afford to rent. Then look for jobs with more upward mobility. Not all jobs require a college degree.

I'd disregard anyone else, and disregard dating for the next few years. 23 is a perfectly good time to learn all of these things, if you learn all of this now, you'd be way ahead of the curve in five years.

Keep your head up, best of luck. We're all operating at our own pace, and we all mess up.

mazxmazx · 2021-11-14T14:14:29+00:00

Get a job and a gym membership. Start lifting and running. Clean your diet up. Easiest way to clean died is to go vegan for a year or two. That cuts out most junk food. Go to community college get an associate's degree in something practical like computer science. You cant control getting a girlfriend but you can get in shape, eat better, and finish an associate's degree.

BrianW1983 · 2021-11-14T15:11:16+00:00

How old are you?

I was in the same position at age 28. I kept grinding out life day by day and solved most of those problems at age 31.

Keep grinding. Life is always changing and you can't predict the future.

Good luck and God Bless.

fijupanda · 2021-11-14T17:50:32+00:00

Half of moving forward is being honest with yourself. You're one cool dude in my book. Look, here is a personal rec to help you help yourself in life: Neville Goddard. Read his essays. They can help you. It's not red pill, it's spiritual metaphysical laws of how to help yourself in life. Don't worry, it's not new age crap. It works. Good luck and take care of yourself and your psyche first. Then the rest will follow.

fuubar2000 · 2021-11-15T00:16:17+00:00

Have an acid trip and experience the rebirth

Tostitos153 · 2021-11-15T01:46:54+00:00

You got some solid advise here my man. It all depends on your goals in life. I would recommend prioritizing. Mentioning a past gf and that women are nice to you, so dating is something you would like to do. But you also mention that your credit is low and you can't afford college; along with being overweight. It sounds like you want tangible recommendations, so I'll give it to you, it'll be long though.

Before dating, you should set your feet first. Finances is your foundation and will determine your lifestyle. Can't go on dates and take girls out without money. Also will help you so you're not stressing about paying bills and putting food on the table. You have to find a way to increase your income so that way you're set. You have a few options with this...
1. College is expensive, but you have to understand it's also an investment, which you WILL see returns on (as long as you pick a solid paying career). You have financial aid options, and you can get student loans. Again though, it has to be a solid paying career so you can pay those back in a timely manner so you're not stuck with it. Do some research. What do you like to do? What would you like to do as a career? If you have things in mind, you should definitely go for it. Do it part time while you work a full time job if you have to. Check out local community colleges and ask to speak to someone in the careers office.
2. If college is not for you, that's fine. Pretty much every job has opportunities to move up the ladder. So if you find a job that works well for you, find out how to move up. Work hard, show interest in your job and put effort so management will notice. Notify them of wanting to stay in the company long term, so they know if you're a potential future prospect.
3. I've seen people recommend bartending. I agree, this would be a solid choice for you. The money is enough to keep you stable for the most part.
4. Overall, by setting your money straight, it will allow more freedom in your lifestyle. You will be able to increase your credit score that way as well.
Health is most important. I would prioritize this with finances. This is completely within your reach. Gym memberships are not too expensive, working out is a lot of fun when you really get into it; but even if it's outside of your range, you can always do at home exercises. Youtube comes in handy for these. Walking/running is free. Do a form of exercise you enjoy. Activities like basketball, hiking (my go to's for cardio) or biking are great forms of exercise.

These are what I would recommend you work on first. Get yourself settled. You will meet a lot of women throughout this journey ;)

Good luck bro.

LittleDeathJr · 2021-11-15T03:40:04+00:00

man calling himself a loser but had a girlfriend LMAO

thom92Pf3105 · 2021-11-14T17:07:49+00:00

Youre not a loser. You should not be juging yourself by what modern society’s standards have become. You are a free Human of the world. And beutiful in your own Way

LadyKitana · 2021-11-15T03:55:22+00:00

First off no you are not a loser, your a young man in his early twenties who are like so many are struggling.and with Covid 19 so many people at different ages are struggling right now your not alone. everything you said can be changed, take one thing at a time:

As others have said working in a bar pays good tips, even as a side hustle. I don’t know about New York, but I am sure there are employment agencies that can help you with jobs skills, resume and may offer training programs. As for college it’s ok you can’t go at the moment, a lot of people go at different ages only to return and retrain and upgrade later in life.

Don’t focus on what you should be doing by a certain age, I made that mistake too. Everyone have different struggles at different points in their life. Again your not alone!

As for debt everyone has it at times in their life, and your in your twenties, it happens. It’s how you deal with it, once you have your basics covered with money. Sit down and make a plan, depending on what type of debt tackle one thing at a time for example if it’s multiple credit cards. I would pick the lowest one and pay it off why because it will give you a sense of accomplishment, then move on to the next one.

Moving to a new city is hard, especially to make friends. Meet up groups are a great way to meet people with the same interests. They have lot of free events or inexpensive and you choose what you can attend.

I don’t know if you have ymca, or similar but there may be some gyms that offer flexibility in memberships based on your ability to pay. I know the weather is changing but walking renting bikes in the city, and Skipping is great cardio, as well looking up videos and do it at home, work with what you have for now! As for food I know healthy food is expensive especially on a budget I have been there trust me lol but try your best to cut down, when you can.

Women are friendly to you which is great, you sound like a nice person. When you start working on your self trust me when I tell you as a women, we notice. There are plenty of girls who once they see you improving and being more happy and confident they will be drawn to you! You attract what you project! The same with friendships as well, I was a very shy person in my twenties. Once I got out there and started working on my goals, things started to change.

Good luck to you!!!

sicktwistedtojess · 2021-11-15T05:13:59+00:00

I'm a loser too. I was obese as a child and that ended up giving me cellulite belly and man-boobs, which never went away even if I lost up to 30kg of weight. So I lived in self-pity and hated the world for it. Of course my dating life was also a disaster and I blamed women for it. I was a total loser and an incel in my 20s. I came across the Red Pill theory a few years back but it took me a long time to start learning and adapting in the real world. I'm not sure who said it but the real definition of Red Pill is trying to improve yourself(In terms of looks, money, game, social status) to have the power of choice. If you're so lost on your goals and have no idea where to start, then I suggest you start by enrolling in a Martial Arts gym near you. Any martial art is fine whether it be Boxing, Jujutsu, Muay Thai, etc (I'm learning Kali Arnis btw). My recommendation is just go to the closest one near your place if you're a working adult so you can just head straight over there without wasting too much time. Pick one Martial Art and make it your "journey" for the rest of your life. It will help you improve your physique so you can establish your next goal, something to turn towards to when you're frustrated and stressed out, and also meet new people. So just go online, pick one Martial Art that you find fun, and enroll in the nearest gym. After I started learning Kali Arnis , my life is still bad, but I'm most certainly better and happier than I was 8 months ago. The only person you need to compare yourself with is the past version of you. If you're even slightly better than you were months ago, that means you're a success. Good luck on starting your journey man.

Fast_Platform_2723 · 2021-11-15T06:37:23+00:00

Hey man I know you're going through a lot right now and right now it seems like life can suck I'm currently still taking the red pill I know you may see me as misogynist or women hating I mean not many woman hating but I'm I don't know why I'm using voice Messenger right now I don't know why I decided to comment this or I decided to write this or speak this I'm not telling you to go back to the red pill that's your choice I chose to stay that's my choice but advice that's been given to me through the red pill that I think can work even if you're not a member of it whatever the f*** you want to call it is to is to work out meditate and just don't worry about women don't hate them but just don't worry about them cuz the main focus is yourself woman is just a side effect of what you do when you move on and when you improve in life I hope things go up for you man I really do

Title	I’ll be honest I’m a loser
Author	AmbitionLazy
Upvotes	38
Comments	28
Date	November 14, 2021 1:54 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/qtq9xp/ill_be_honest_im_a_loser/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/ill-be-honest-im-a-loser.1084145 https://theredarchive.com/post/1084145

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