Nothing changed after leaving the RP

ashukaanzhong · 2021-12-28T07:55:26+00:00

Based on what you said in your post it is very likely you won’t find what you’re looking for. Do you have the heart to give up superficial ideas of love and put the real work in to find the partner you will spend the rest of your life with? Dating apps are cheap thrills. Long-term loneliness is a symptom that you must change your situation, belief, and attitude. A hobby can provide the space to do this.

The person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with is waiting for you to become the person they need you to be so you can have a great life together. As much as it seems like the goal is to find someone, the goal is to find yourself and then someone will meet you there.

HGW86 · 2021-12-28T05:01:54+00:00

There is no solution to your problems in the red pill, it only baits you into believing it has a solution. However, the harsh truth is just leaving it isn't a solution to your problems either.

I don't know you well enough to give you any personalized advice, but if you are at least seeking a philosophical alternative to the red pill, I would suggest you look into a philosophy known as Stoicism instead. Stoicism is what the red pill PRETENDS to be but isn't.

An example of a stoic person would be a man named Albert Ellis, who was a psychologist would develop something called Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (or REBT). He also had a crippling anxiety about talking to women when he was young and overcame it. He has a philosophical approach to psychology that was stoic in nature.

I hope what I wrote is helpful for you. And don't be afraid of seeking professional help if you need it!

vcreativ · 2021-12-28T15:00:43+00:00

dating apps ruined my self esteem

They're definitely a two-sided sword. For some they work. For lots it's basically a rejection multiplier. RL always wins, but I realise that's not always easy.

I don’t have any friends.

You need to figure this out first. Sorry if this is obvious to you. Friendly relationships are way less bumpy. If you can't find friends that requires investigating.

I know it’s wrong to feel this way but I’m jealous of my roommates who have relationships.

That's not wrong to feel. At least I wouldn't say so. You feel it, so there. The question is what to do with it. Ultimately you're noticing that there's a situation that you'd rather be in that more closely resembles that of your roommates.

I can’t do it anymore. I left RP 2 years ago and my life didn’t improve.

Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but leaving RP doesn't automatically improve your life, it just means you're no longer stumbling further down that particular rabbit hole (there are many others).

Please don’t recommend learning a hobby because that dosent help with long term loneliness.

Ha, I'll refrain then. :) You're correct, learning a new hobby doesn't solve the issue of long term loneliness. Ironically (I would say), it can only be solved on your own. But being among a few people occasionally can alleviate some of the symptoms for a while making your overall efforts more sustainable, though I have no doubt that this will differ between individuals.

Im just tired of failing.

That's a healthy way to react in my mind. The question is, what have you done, and what haven't you done. The issue, and maybe it helps to know that this is really quite common atm, is you have low self-worth, this needs building before you should venture into the rather harsh world of dating.

How you build self-worth, necessarily depends on who you are. I personally think talking therapy is a very real thing. You clearly want to talk about it, otherwise you wouldn't be posting here.

So, you know, talk to a pro, nothing embarrassing about it. Can't afford it, find a trainee.

exredpiller2 · 2021-12-28T14:41:08+00:00

I recommend you to talk with a friend or someone you fell comfortable speaking. The problem with the internet is that you'll only hear the common sense. Without knowing you is really hard to tell you what you can do to improve your situation.

In my case, my cousin who is my best friend gave me some advice that worked.

PrincessTiaraLove · 2021-12-28T01:42:04+00:00

Embrace yourself as much as you can and be unapologetic about that, as long as you aren't being abusive. People respect others that are genuine, authentic, have standards and boundaries and don't just go with whatever they think the other person wants to hear or likes. Practice just walking up to women and genuinely giving them a compliment and be more specific then just calling her "beautiful, pretty or gorgeous"; without expecting anything. If you're somewhere and you notice that you may have something in common with a woman then just talk. Have a genuine conversation, no expectations. People truly come and go and you never know which one will be "the one". You don't have to try to make every woman "the one".

Nur_tir_andaz · 2021-12-28T09:45:21+00:00

Problems the red pill touched on about the dating market is not bad. And it's a reality. Our reality. So please do expect difficulty.

You have you to become stronger. No amount of red pill, ex red pill, reading, or belief can prepare us for the harsh reality. So we come with expectations. And we are disappointed. You can only be disappointed because of two things - you care and you had misaligned expectations.

I have to keep adjusting my expectations so I don't become bitter and save the parts of me I love. I hope you can do the same. I haven't been with a romantic person in more than 3 years - not even on coffee date or something short lived.

Expect difficulty, embrace the harsh truth of love. Not all of us will get it, and it does not mark the end of who we are and what we can do.
Become stronger by becoming more flexible - with emotions, with conditions. Don't hold onto one idea if the circumstances are unfavorable. Change the idea.
Adjust your expectations all the time as situations change.

At the end, remember, you can do all of this, and still go to bed feeling intensely empty and unwanted. I do. I feel it all the time, it's part of my life today, but not part of who I am.

vptran31 · 2021-12-28T05:28:48+00:00

Join a professional network?

lordkuruku · 2021-12-28T03:13:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Spinner4177 · 2021-12-28T10:08:34+00:00

discovers black pill

Title	Nothing changed after leaving the RP
Author	Sorry-Watercress4589
Upvotes	13
Comments	16
Date	December 28, 2021 12:40 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/rq1zzi/nothing_changed_after_leaving_the_rp/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/nothing-changed-after-leaving-the-rp.1090317 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090317

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