Some lingering RP damage

Justwannaread3 · 2024-01-18T20:33:22+00:00

Women are only human. Some will hold toxic beliefs and stereotypes, just like some men do. Some will cheat, just like some men do.

It’s “sporadic.”

Crunch-Potato · 2024-01-18T20:32:43+00:00

What would you say is the correct answer to those questions?

Comingtoyoulive16 · 2024-01-19T05:05:27+00:00

Even tho you still have these intrusive thoughts. I respect you for leaving and helping other men out to get out of that toxic space. like other people said in the comments, it's life so whether a man or a woman hurts us it's apart of life to show you to keep growing.

ooa3603 · 2024-01-19T18:05:18+00:00

Depending on what happens afterwards, aren't really intrusive thoughts as they are valid concerns.

Not believing in redpill ideology doesn't mean you think women are all sunshine and rainbows. That's just the opposite extreme, and it's just as stupid. They are human too, and can be just as abusive and exploitative as any man.

The keyword is can.

I think the difference between categorizing these as valid concerns vs irrational fears is how you deal with them and are you still holding on to them when your potential date has done nothing to warrant them or even has even shown behavior portraying good character.

If you are still having these thoughts in the case when your date doesn't warrant them that's when you have a problem. Otherwise, this is just not being naïve.

That said, this part:

For context I only have 2 women in my life that I actively trust. Everyone else I keep an arms length away. All because of the RP and their narrative.

Denotes that you might still have a problem. Every new person you meet should be starting from a neutral place in terms of your feelings towards them. If you're starting from a negative place when you meet women, you have a problem.

If this is the case, you need to address the fear you have about women. It sounds to me like that fear is that women will only like you for the things you can do for them. And not who you are.

This fear isn't irrational, the traditional paradigm of masculinity pretty much says you're worthless without be able to offer anything. Any many women internalize a lot of the ideals of traditional masculinity. However it's what you do with that fear that's important.

Have you considered just being the real you from the jump and letting those women weed themselves out? That's what I do.

Admittedly I'm 6'1 190lb and in great shape. But still there are still women that look down on the fact that I play video games, read manga and watch anime. I also nerd out on biology. I don't hide any of these facets of myself. And it has resulted in a good proportion of women not interested. That's ok, but at least by being me from the jump, I didn't waste time with them. And there are just as many girls who do like what I am.

That's the key to dating: Instead of obsessing about people who may not be into you, focus on the people who will like you for what you are. And more importantly hang out where those people are. Successful dating isn't about casting the widest net and trying to attract and please every type of person, in actuality the most successful people target their tribe, they target the demographic of people that will be into the same things and the same type of values they have.

Successful relationships have always been about being vulnerable, but these are healthy ways to reduce the risks of being vulnerable without shutting everyone out.

mylorules · 2024-01-19T12:35:25+00:00

This video came to mind. It's by a creator called theramintrees (who makes videos helping people with various mental health related topics) on the topic of repetitive thoughts. Whilst the examples used in the video are a bit different to your own experiences, it could still be insightful and it suggests some strategies to deal with repetitive unwanted thoughts. Over time, and with practice re-routing/dealing with these thoughts, their power over you will wane. Well done for choosing to leave RP behind! You've already done what many can't or won't do.

getyourpopcornreddy · 2024-01-19T19:02:14+00:00

As a woman, I am going to use RP women with this. The RP women who say that 'women will leave if a better opportunity came around,' left their boyfriends/ex-husbands for a better opportunity, i.e. a older guy that has money. RFS ( female RP creator) won't admit that the only reason she left her ex-husband for her current high ranking military husband is because he has money and a huge pension, once he retires from the military.

Title	Some lingering RP damage
Author	Skinned-Cobalt
Upvotes	10
Comments	10
Date	January 18, 2024 7:59 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/199z78j/some_lingering_rp_damage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/some-lingering-rp-damage.1243263 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243263

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