What are your thoughts on hypergamy?

Mammoth_Ad_5181 · 2026-01-30T17:37:40+00:00

It’s a real thing that some people practice but shouldn’t be something people worry about as long as you’re firm on what your boundaries and values are in a partner

Chili440 · 2026-01-30T18:07:02+00:00

Look, even if this does happen YOU DON'T HAVE TO DATE WOMEN YOU AREN'T COMPATIBLE WITH. Date someone you actually fucking like.

octave120 · 2026-01-30T17:37:47+00:00

It’s a thing, but Redpillers and incels exaggerate its prevalence and importance. If you don’t like women who are into that, then just don’t date them. Plenty of women don’t mind if you have lower income/wealth than hers.

FlamingBudder · 2026-01-30T17:48:37+00:00

This is a very long comment, didn’t mean it to be this long but i think it could be helpful for you if you read it all

Like with most things, it’s easy to fall into black and white thinking. Some people say women are super hypergamous, some people say no it doesn’t matter at all.

I think to a certain extent hypergamy is there. I mean it has to be there, just the fact that some people are more attractive than others means people gravitate towards the attractive people. But I don’t think this hypergamy is a super huge phenomenon. Tons of mid guys get girlfriends no problem

The thing is though, IMO dating is much more of a meritocracy than blackpillers believe. Redpillers also believe in the meritocracy but they subscribe to a traditional masculine ideal and grind to achieve that ideal thinking that’s what women want. The PUAs tell you to be dominant and to not take women’s shit and negging lowering the woman’s self esteem all to get women to sleep with you. other redpillers say to earn tons of money and buy Lamborghinis and show off your extravagant lifestyle to be a high value man. Looksmaxxers say you should get surgery to become good looking. These are all terrible advice. They are fundamentally based on traditional masculinity where men are expected to dominate other men in all areas of life and be an alpha gigachad. They commodify women and make them out to be conquest. Your value as a person is how many women you sleep with, signaling you are a chad.

They say the red pill is escaping the matrix, but ironically it should be flipped. The red pill ideology and patriarchal masculinity is the real matrix. People stuck pursuing things that really will never make them happy, and will just feed feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem, high ego.

Escaping this matrix is truly learning to love and accept yourself for who you are and where you are at. It is knowing how to love and doing things for people not because they expect you to do it but because you genuinely want to because this person is just so awesome. It is knowing how to be gentle and kind to those who are struggling. It is to truly enjoy what life has to offer and being a fun and humorous presence. It is being able to listen to other people’s stories and appreciate them for what they are without judgment. It is being able to great communicator, being honest and upfront without being rude.

These are all the traits that women find are lacking in these men who are by no fault of their own influenced by patriarchal masculinity. From what I’ve learned talking to women, Many men talk to women just to sleep with them and then they change up and ghost them without any sort of communication. Many men make up personas that are not genuinely them, pretending to be “high value” and nonchalant. Many men don’t communicate their intentions when talking to women, opting instead to manipulate the women and be a huge walking red flag.

People say women’s standards are very high. But you have to remember this is on the internet. The most extreme voices are amplified, and the most extreme women who are shallow gold digging fuckers are the ones you see. And these types of women are not the ones you want to build your life with. Real life is not the same, from the women that I talked to their standards are on the floor. Have an OK personality where you can actually converse with her without seeing her as inhuman object of boosting your ego and status and have a semi organized room without clothes all over the floor is literally the standard. It’s really not high at all and you can achieve this standard if you put in the work on your mentality through being vulnerable, going to support groups to honestly talk about your problems and maybe getting therapy

mylesaway2017 · 2026-01-31T22:04:05+00:00

Are you looking for aid and support with leaving redpill thinking?

Extreme-Struggle3665 · 2026-02-06T23:21:59+00:00

Contrary to the redpill that lied to you and make hypergamy a bad thing, there's a study that shows that husbands became violent when there wife started to make more money, if women want someone better in income men don't like it either to be the lowered in income they become insecure and jealous

Title	What are your thoughts on hypergamy?
Author	Flourescendrama
Upvotes	0
Comments	60
Date	January 30, 2026 5:05 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1qrb9l2/what_are_your_thoughts_on_hypergamy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-are-your-thoughts-on-hypergamy.1572328 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572328

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