What made you spit the pill

HerPetTexan · 2020-01-03T12:31:49+00:00

I got tired of being angry and bitter all the time. I did 'go my own way' finally and started working on my own issues instead of worrying about others. I quit rating people on their 'SMV' and started appreciating them for who they were, not what they could do for me. I started to like who I saw in the mirror. I still have my faults and a long way to go, but resenting half the species isn't one of them. I've got a great relationship going and realize that yes... there are some horrible women out there, but just as many decent ones. Same with men. No sex or race has a monopoly on assholes.

Who do you want to surround yourself with? Angry, bitter men? Or people that have their shit together and actually enjoy life? If you're worried about attracting a good woman, take your time. Don't fuck the first one that spreads her legs. Get to know them and spend your energy on making yourself the kind of person that attracts good people. Worried about your money? Start a trust fund. Be selective, but take a good look at your selection criteria. Base it on superficial things and you'll find a superficial mate.

TRP movement is just proof that misery loves company. But so does happiness. Your self identity isn't diminished by being able to love someone and be loved... it's amplified. And if you honestly would rather be alone, that's fine, too. You don't need to hate others to love yourself. Spit it out and go be happy.

tomowudi · 2020-01-03T14:52:33+00:00

The understanding that anger is based in fear, and that I was starting to have my identity shaped by my cowardice and insecurities as a result of this fear-based philosophy masquerading as justified anger.

I go into more detail here: “Emotions As Information and Language…” by Tomo Albanese https://link.medium.com/FJYDxTbUW2

But essentially:

Emotions are predictions about reality created by our brains, and are largely self-taught.
Our predictions are pretty good in general, but are far from perfect, and are mostly useful for keeping us alive.
Fear is a useful emotion in a world without technology because in the jungle fear keeps you from being eaten by lions or killed by a rival from another human tribe.
Fear is mostly irrational today unless it is related to an immediate threat to your survival/death. Unless it will cause permanent physical harm or death, fear doesn't really make sense because biologically, you need to be able to think and fear impairs your ability to use REASON - which is the one thing you need when your life is in danger. Fear is only useful when thinking will get you killed, such as when you are being chased by a fucking lion.
Fear results in 3 main reactions from everything alive: Freezing/camouflage/avoidance, Fleeing/escape/running away, Fighting (this is when we feel angry). These reactions result from an UNCERTAINTY OF SAFETY, which is why all of these reactions are actions of resistance which require little to no thinking.
If you are uncertain but not afraid, you are not uncertain of your safety, and this emotion is curiosity. When we are curious, we INVESTIGATE. This is the opposite if resistance, this is exploration!

In today's day and age, anger is rarely useful unless you need the emotion necessary to resist something without any need to be rational. After all, if rationality is impaired by anger, then when you need to be rational, the less angry you are the better your reasoning will be.

The Red Pill is fucking anger bro.

And anger is fear.

If you are at a bar and some dude bumps into you, spills their drink on you, and calls you an asshole very loudly...

You would probably feel angry. After all, this is public chastisement, disrespect from a reproductive rival, a potential fight about to brew, and you don't know you will definitely win the fight should it actually begin.

Now, imagine the same exact scenario, except that it's a 6 year old.

Still pissed? Or are you amused at the tiny little man's anger? Would you be ready to throw down? Or would you grab a napkin, maybe tell at their parents for getting your shit dirty, etc?

Fear. It's subtle, because it's supposed to be very simple. It's just there to keep us alive in situations where we need to act, not think. And unless you are worried about fucking bears attacking you around every corner, most situations today you have plenty of time to think about before acting.

It's just that our bodies and thus our emotions don't know that we have conquered the planet and have made it safe for us to get fat and lazy in. The only savagery left to us is outside of where we gather, and what we perpetuate ourselves. We have so little to fear we are trying to be nicer to our fucking food dude.

That's how little use we have for anger - the emotion necessary to kill a fucking animal without feeling bad because if you don't kill it you will fucking starve to death.

And that's the entire emotion Red Pill philosophy is grounded in. Fear.

Fear that you will be alone. Fear that you aren't good enough. Fear that you are weak. Fear that you are unnapreciated. Fear that you will be taken advantage of. Fear that you are undesirable. Fear that others will notice how worthless you feel and judge you.

Oh, it all shows up as anger. Contempt is another form of anger - an angry dismissal of significance. "What a cuck, don't be afraid of your anger like this far is saying to be. You are RIGHT to be angry, he's just to brainwashed by insane feminists!" That's contempt in action. Observe the fear at its foundations. Every vitriolic word a balled up fist intent in attacking...

None intended to explore the idea that the anger is in itself based in fear. It is just more fear. The fear of, "If I lose this anger, I will still be afraid, and who am I if I need my anger to feel strong?"

Your anger doesn't make you feel strong.

It simply blinds you to your weakness because it makes you dumber. It will cause you to work yourself to death for wealth that you will share with no one because you are too afraid to have relationships with people, and so the safest thing for you to do is hoard whatever collectible you desire in isolation, because lonely incel dragons are badass because sleeping on a pile of treasure and not sharing any is cool... Or something like that.

Meanwhile the reason why red pillers are angry is because they feel like they can't even BUY the relationship they want because they don't trust women...

This is just as irrational as women not trusting men, and it all stems from the same wounds.

Betrayal of hope and trust. A fear of more emotional pain. One bad rollercoaster ride can ruin them forever for some people.

But it's the brave ones that get back on again that understand why they are so much damn fun.

There are many ways to live your life. Living being enjoying your life, sharing memories and hopes and dreams with others. This is living.

Sleeping on a hoard lonely, afraid, and angry... That's not living. That's just surviving. Mere survival is not what makes life worth living.

But the people we care about do. You just have to find the ones that bring joy and happiness into your life.

And to do that, you have to like who you are.

Do you like who you are when you are angry and afraid? Are you often proud of your anger and fear? Do you feel like your anger and fear are the best parts of you? Is your anger and fear what you want others to see in you?

First build up your relationship with yourself. Be the best friend to yourself that you are to others. Then he even better to yourself. And then be just as good to everyone else while still being your own best friend. And if you keep doing that, you will get hurt, and you will feel pain, and you will be betrayed, but instead of seeing it as personal, you will recognize it as just more pain. Pain you no longer feel because you have yourself, and in being certain you are a good friend to yourself and others, you have created the certainty that others are drawn to.

This is what leadership is. Certainty by proxy. When someone else is certain, you trust them, because that is easier than understanding why they are certain. Certainty is safety, and when people feel safe they will use your safety to rest and HEAL... and that's when you see who they want to be.

That's what happened in this Sub. That's why you posted.

Others seem certain and happy. You are in pain. You felt safe in posting a request for healing. Maybe these replies will be the healing you need. Maybe the desire for healing shows you who you truly want to be...

Which is actually who you already are. You are already enough. You are already exredpill. You are already surrounded by people that care about you and that are rooting for you. And when you are ready to be there for someone at their worst, you will already be the best version of yourself that will expect the same from them.

Because that's all relationships with women are. 2 people working together to be the best versions of themselves. 2 people who have seen each other at their respective worsts, who still think it's worth the effort to stay together and deal with life together. Partners - like a buddy cop movie with orgasms and joint bank accounts.

CarpetBurn12 · 2020-01-03T10:31:56+00:00

" I’m slowly loosing who I am."

That's exactly why champ.

pandamojia · 2020-01-03T10:56:00+00:00

Finding more intellectual and nuanced movements.

Traveledfarwestward · 2020-01-03T16:29:40+00:00

Even if everything the RP community says is true, I would rather be respectful to people than ‘successful’ and getting laid with lots of beautiful women. Call it a self-handicap. I'd rather be alone-ish and unhappy for the rest of my life than manipulate women and feel like crap for doing it.

EDIT: That said, yeah, many (but not most?) women say they want this or that, then respond and are attracted to many of the standard “manly” qualities and character that RP ...jerks (for lack of a better word) so rightly point out.

LordFancyPants_VII · 2020-01-03T22:53:53+00:00

I left the red pill behind because I started growing so extreme that I would openly challenge people around me for having different opinions than me and luckily for me those people around me were my family. They were always respectful in these debates while I was acting like a rabid dog because that’s how people like Ben Shapiro always said you should approach a leftist. I stopped after the first couple of times because as cliche as it sounds, love is more powerful than hate and I felt terrible after every argument. In my last year of being red pilled I would constantly call up my sister and have talks with her about it. Slowly but surely I became happy again and realizing that I stopped myself from going down an even darker road than the one I was already traveling was one the most blissful feelings in the world. It’s like when you first put on glasses and the world just seems so much more vibrant. That’s why so many leaders in the red pill circles try to get you away from people who love and care for you because no matter how down you get there’s always someone willing to lend you a hand but that human bond is something that runs against their ideology even if they don’t do it intentionally. It’s okay to doubt your beliefs if you think they are hurting you or other people. I’m very proud of you for taking this huge step and I’m not afraid to admit that I was not as brave as you are right now, actively seeking help from people who can help you is hard for many people and the fact that you’re here right now is great to see

grand_tiremaster · 2020-01-04T00:00:03+00:00

RPW advice wasn’t working. Couldn’t score husband quality type men until I ditched the doormat philosophy and started embracing my actual self.

Straight-Science · 2020-01-15T21:18:12+00:00

Never swallowed the pill, but lurked on the site off and on for a while. I read The Art of Seduction and realized that is contradicted everything RP taught. I started seeing life through other’s eyes and put their interests first, NOT what I thought they should want. I started becoming successful by fine-tuning my listening and empathy skills, and it’s made me a better more successful person over all.

Once you learn how people actually work, TRP seems insufficient and vastly wrong.

difficultconcept · 2020-01-03T13:36:33+00:00

Sleeping with prostitutes.

martini29 · 2020-01-03T11:19:17+00:00

[removed]

Title	What made you spit the pill
Author	HeartbreakHotline
Upvotes	18
Comments	52
Date	January 3, 2020 10:09 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ejdhs7/what_made_you_spit_the_pill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-made-you-spit-the-pill.304788 https://theredarchive.com/post/304788

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