It seems like every time things start getting better, my brain goes into overdrive to come up with random reasons why I shouldn’t be happy and my life actually sucks. It’s like I can’t be happy for more than a day or two before my ocd or anxiety pulls me right back into a depressive state. There is nothing inherently bad about my life on the surface, things could be better, but they could also be a lot worse. I have good friends, a big family, interesting hobbies, yet for some reason it’s not enough for me. I feel like I could have the best life on earth and I would still be depressed, because I’m just never satisfied. A lot of the time when I’m feeling depressed I fall into sort of red pill-ish thinking patterns. This is odd because I don’t really fit what most people would see as an incel. I have female friends, my social life is pretty good. I don’t have a girlfriend, but I’m not super bitter about it or anything. Yet for some reason, when I’m at my lowest, I start to think like this.