By clinical psychologist and author, Dr. Martha Stout.

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1)    *Accept that some people have no conscience**.*

2)    Always listen to your gut and prioritize what it tells you. “In a contest between your instincts and what is implied by the role a person has taken on – educator, doctor, leader, animal lover, policeman, humanist, parent – go with your instincts,” Stout urges.

3)    *Practice the “Rule of Threes***”.** Three strikes = out. One lie, one promise broken, one neglected responsibility – it could be a misunderstanding. Two: could be a serious mistake. Three: you are now dealing with a liar, and deceit lies at the heart of a person with no conscience. Cut your losses immediately.

4)    *Question authority***.** Heed your own anxieties and instincts. Especially around those who claim that by dominating others they are helping a greater good.

5)    *Suspect flattery***. Know the difference between compliments and flattery. Compliments usually feel good. Flattery feels like too much. Know that sociopaths use flattery to manipulate.**

6)    *Re-define your definition of respect***. Discern between fear and respect. Sometimes the more we fear someone, the more we defer to them and offer them respect. Just because someone causes you to fear does not mean they are worthy of your respect. Separate the two.**

7)    Do not participate in intrigue – don’t play the game you’re being invited to play. Don’t compete with, or try to outsmart, or psychoanalyze, or even banter with a sociopath. Your #1 goal is to protect yourself.

8)    *Avoid***. The best way to protect yourself is to avoid all contact. Minimize or eliminate the sociopath from your life. Although sociopaths are great actors, and can feign hurt feelings, know that they have no feelings to hurt – they are manipulating you.**

9)    Question your tendency to pity too easily. Evoking pity is a classic sociopathic tool. If you find yourself pitying someone who consistently hurts you or other people, chances are close to 100% that you are dealing with a sociopath. Related to this: challenge your need to be polite in all situations. Sociopaths take full advantage of our social reflexes. Remember: “No.” is a complete sentence.

  1.  *Do not try to redeem the unredeemable***. Second (and third and fourth) chances are for those who have a conscience. You can’t control someone else’s behavior. Although another favorite sociopathic trick is to defer blame and make other’s take responsibility for their behavior, “You owe me,” is another favorite phrase of the sociopath,** know that you are not at fault. Again, learn how to cut your losses quickly.

  2. *No cover-ups***.** Never agree, for any reason, to help conceal the true character of a sociopath. “’Please don’t tell,’ is the trademark plea of thieves, child abusers – and sociopaths,” writes Stout. Do not listen to this self-serving request. Others deserve to be warned more than the sociopath deserves to be protected.

  3. Defend your psyche. Don’t let someone without a conscience try to convince you that people aren’t good. Know that most of us do, thankfully, posses a conscience, and can love.

  4.  Live well. It is the best revenge.