I went on a few dates recently that made me realize that loneliness has made me drop my standards and it’s time fo get reacquainted with FDS.

The first date there was a significant age difference. That generally wouldn’t have been an issue but he made it very clear that he liked me because I was young and pretty and he essentially wanted to flex on his friends. I was iffy on him but went on the date. He picked some chipotle style place.. No. I told him that wasn’t going to work, so he scrambled to come up with a more appropriate restaurant for lunch as we stood in front of this no go. As we are walking into the new restaurant he asks me if Im working that Friday, I tell him I was off thinking he wanted to planning another date. He says to me— “I think if I get called in I’ll go since I’ll make good money and you look expensive…” all through lunch he asked me inappropriate questions like, what do I wear to bed and if I prefer a bikini or one piece. At the end of said date as he walks me back to my car a couple things happen, the first, he kept adjusting his pants in the crotch area (um?) and second he tries to kiss me, I pull back from him and he says “What no kiss?” Like I owe him cause he bought me a 12$ plate. I didn’t hear from him again.

The second date happened last weekend, Im in my early 30s and never have I ever paid for anything on a date. However, this time I felt compelled to since the guy I went on a date with made significantly less than me so I told him I’d pay for lunch since he paid for the activity (ticket to the zoo) and drove (was an hour away). We ended up eating at the little restaurant area that was there. It was so busy so he said to get a table and he would order for us. Cool. Gave him my card went and sat down. I let him choose my meal since I didn’t really look at the menu before sitting down. I’ll be honest the date wasn’t going well. Him and I had went on shorter dates before and we get along great. This day, he walked in front of me, would wander off, and did not yielding to the children running around. As he walked up to the table he asked me why I looked said. I didn’t really give him an answer and he hands me my card and the receipt. Our lunch cost 55$.. A zoo lunch. I feel like he would have been a little more conservative with the order if he was paying. After this date, he didn’t text me asking if I got home, in fact, he didn’t text me the rest of the week.

Im embarrassed in telling anyone about these dates and to even have allowed myself to be treated like an object and an option, however, it at least made me aware that I have dropped my standards and need to reevaluate before I begin dating again.