Let’s count the red flags together!

electroloop · 2021-11-17T15:17:35+00:00

To be fair, I absolutely hate when people are late to anything without a heads up or apologizing for their lateness. But the rest is pure scrotacity. Boohoo he didn't get his dick wet although he paid for all of her expensive drinks! Going out to dinner/drinks for a majority of men means trying to get in their dates pants.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-11-17T15:49:06+00:00

Judging by the previous responses, it’s not an unpopular opinion that he’s not wrong to be upset by her unapologetic lateness. I wouldn’t confuse her with a HVW/FDS sister just because she ran up a bill, though.

WandernWondern · 2021-11-17T16:22:13+00:00

Only red flag I see is him comparing having to pay to her having a Lexus. He’s supposed to pay, why should she even pretend to reach for her wallet?

She should have been on time though, it’s a respect thing. Unless she knew in advance he’d post something like this?

misandryisnotreal · 2021-11-17T17:07:29+00:00

Let’s review:

Dude knows this is a super busy place that doesn’t take reservations, so he shows up at 6:55 for a confirmed 7:00 start time. What if he hadn’t snagged the last table? She would have had to stand around waiting for 30-40 minutes, anyway. Her 7:25 arrival may actually make sense. (Not that I excuse lateness or being inconsiderate of somebody’s time, but anyone who spends any kind of time in a city knows how restaurants work.)
Dude took up prime real estate for six hours, and the total bill was $100? And I’m assuming a $20 tip? ok
etc, since I’m bored of thinking about this guy already lol

SwampDwellingPirate · 2021-11-17T17:35:42+00:00

I'm wondering about the parking lot situation. He insisted on her parking in the overflow lot which was "just a 2 minute walk away". Bullshit. If the overflow lot is 2 minutes away, then the actual parking lot is ridiculously small, and she wouldn't even be able to "circle around" in it waiting for a spot. Doesn't make sense. Men's sense of space is whack. Whenever a guy says something is 5 minutes away, I immediately consider 15-20 minutes away. Also, she was likely wearing high heels, so she shouldn't be forced to walk anymore than necessary.

And her car is expensive, so it makes sense she would like to park closer to the entrance, so the staff could pay closer attention to it.

As people have said, being late is really annoying, but all of the rest seems like a stretch and super entitled. The guy himself was almost late, considering there are no reservations, he should've arrived at least 20 minutes earlier to guarantee a spot for 7pm, but he got there almost too late. 100 dollar is actually really cheap for a 6 hours date in a restaurant, so he seems absolutely whiny and spoiled, and he shouldn't be complaining at all, since they apparently had a great time together.

Inspection-Critical · 2021-11-17T23:45:48+00:00

They took up space at a prime location for 6 hours and only spent $100, and he's whining about that? Does that total even include a tip??

$100 for a night out is cheap unless your idea of a good time is Chipotle.

BooksandEarlGreyTea · 2021-11-17T22:16:07+00:00

Based on the fact he whines she knew he had been waiting for 30 minutes, I want to know what he text her at 6:55. Did he even let her know how busy the place gets? It sounds like she hasn't been there before as she didn't set off earlier to get a decent parking spot or possibly hit traffic on the way to the date.

Also, this is from a scote, she might have said sorry she was late in person and he might
be ignoring it because she isn't grovelling for her lateness and making him feel important and like she would be chasing him - after all her waiting for a parking spot near the restaurant indicates she is prioritising herself and her needs first.

I am willing to bet there was a brief sorry and her explaining about the parking issue and all he heard was he complaining about the parking and the fact she made him wait while ignoring his suggestion of using the overflow (so not listening to his SuPeRiOr advice).

23eggz · 2021-11-18T02:04:54+00:00

Hes acting like he just got tricked into buying her Lexus jfhdbfbsb

GreytracksuitPants · 2021-11-18T01:01:59+00:00

No one gonna mention anything of her driving home after 6 hours of drinking cocktails? Like…wha..? I’d be over the limit after drinking one cocktail. After 6 hours I’d probably forget I even had a car or even legs to walk myself

repurposedschleem · 2021-11-17T15:31:38+00:00

I got 11 flags but i think the worst one is the usual “women are vending machines I put drinks/$$ into and sex falls out” LVM attitude.

That being said I also prefer people being proactive about being late, as a former always-late I always made sure the people I was meeting knew what was up and I wasn’t flaking. (I’ve since corrected the behavior.)

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2021-11-17T15:39:58+00:00

I do think it's rude to be late to a date male of female sue me IDC. He wasn't wrong to that, disregarding someone's time regardless of gender is rude. As for everything else IDC about nor do I feel bad for him. But I do wanna say this he should have taken up for himself which shows LV qualities to me her disregard his time and say thank you. I cannot stand rude people, just as much as I cannot stand men who get mad for paying for a date or getting mad at women for putting their safety first. Honestly I don't care for either of these people.

arnezuara · 2021-11-17T16:43:57+00:00

He needed to choose a place that takes reservations and has enough parking spaces nearby 🤷🏻‍♀️

Honestly, I’m sensing that he could be lying about her being terribly late, all to get him some pity and justify his scrotacity. Lol

throwawayaway388 · 2021-11-17T17:53:16+00:00

Being late is inconsiderate and you should always arrive a few minutes early, but I first noticed "get the only table they have left"... He shows up 5 minutes before to get a table. He wasn't even sure if they had a table. He wasn't even sure what he was doing. Did she know that? Or did he text her 10-15 minutes before like, "lol, ok almost there. Gotta find a table!" In which case, I wouldn't exactly rush either. If we're having dinner at a busy place that takes reservations, then why not make reservations? Not impressed by either of them.

Edit oh it doesn't take reservations. Pick somewhere else then unless she really wants to go there.

RoseDumpling · 2021-11-17T21:52:08+00:00

I’m a stickler for being late so I see everyone’s point. However, as a woman I know I’m not going to park in overflow knowing it’s getting dark and I’m with someone I don’t know well. I’d cruse the block too. So feeling inconvenienced that I’m late because I want to make sure I’m close to where I’m meeting- oh well.

rainbowhelix · 2021-11-17T22:33:25+00:00

He's 100% LVM, but I feel like they're both kind of strange. Having had a lot of friends who worked in the service industry, I would not want to take up a table for SIX(!) hours. They could have at least switched venues and gotten a drink somewhere else close. No first date needs to go on that long. Didn't she have something else to do? Anything else? Anyway, if he knows parking is hellish at this place and they don't take reservations, I would give her 15 minutes grace period. Lateness is a bad trait, but this is definitely a weird dating story lol.

xfelugirlx · 2021-11-17T19:05:59+00:00

Well i hate when they come late so i can understand that but the bill part?? You pay 100 dollars and didn’t have sx? Omg poor thing🥲🥲 say no one. Scrote

warinmymind94 · 2021-11-18T01:04:47+00:00

Sounds like he didn't confirm the plans with her He was only 5 min early? If I am reading that right. I personally like to get somewhere like 15 or 10 min early. That's how I was raised bit my personal standard is having someone else be early around that same 10 to 15 minute time frame. He didn't make reservations and he should have. He should have better warned her about parking if he did know ahead of time OR been more helpful with finding overflow /alternate parking. Drinks dates are red flags. The judgementalness of what she ordered as being expensive Complaining she didn't do a "fake reach" lmao I don't fake reach. It's a first date he needs to be paying he asked me out and a first date is a huge opportunity for him to impress me or ruin his chances completely. Assuming she has money and could have paid because of her car. Rude and making assumptions. Might have been hers, maybe it wasn't though but it does NOT matter a man should always be paying for a first date and should be comfortable with being generous/spending.

LR_today · 2021-11-17T21:56:18+00:00

"talked our asses off"

Ohhhhhh, you mean emotional labor.

So that's less than $10/hr (because he did order food/drink for himself!). You got a good deal dude STFU.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-11-17T15:32:03+00:00

Look, HVM value their time, politeness and common courtesy just like we do. I'm not implying that this one is HVM (he is obvioisly not, judging by his later complaints) but she is just plain trashy for being so late, inconsiderate and apparently a heavy drinker.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2021-11-18T12:49:26+00:00

$100 for two people over the course of 6 hours is NOT an expensive date…. If they just had cocktails that’s like an entre and 2 drinks per person at a normal restaurant.

randomgirl34861 · 2021-11-17T20:23:20+00:00

He’s extremely whiney and sounds like he’s annoying… but I do believe she should have said thank you. Unless your date did/said something to sour the experience, you really should be thanking anyone who pays for your food and drinks. Saying thank you doesn’t imply you want another date, it just means you appreciate the one they just paid for. Romantic incompatibility isn’t an excuse to throw class and manners out the window. (If you have even a teeny inkling your safety is at risk, then yeet manners and class right out that window… But just knowing you don’t want another date doesn’t make it okay to not say thank you).

Side note: I hate saying Sorry I’m late!…… Thank you for waiting for me has much better energy and power

Healingirl · 2021-11-17T23:54:00+00:00

Well looks like they are both LV. Not apologizing and giving a heads up for being late is plain rude.

intergalacticanon44 · 2021-11-18T07:00:51+00:00

She’s definitely missing some basic etiquettes by not informing him of her lateness but why is he pocket-watching 😭😂

Title	Let’s count the red flags together!
Author	RoseDumpling
Upvotes	301
Comments	68
Date	November 17, 2021 3:12 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qw1e02/lets_count_the_red_flags_together/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/lets-count-the-red-flags-together.1083639 https://theredarchive.com/post/1083639

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