So long story short I got into a relationship with whom I thought could be a potential HVM. He was attentive, supportive, respected my boundaries and took care of himself. No loveboming, taking things slower per my request and so on. I wasn't done vetting and thank goodness I wasn't. I thought I met a good person finally after my series of LVMs with the last one being a narcissist and the most emotionally abusive relationship I've ever been in.

Fast forward, I'm at my lowest point in life right now where I'm on the verge of a promotion, still waiting on it but my workload has gone crazy. I also injured my shoulder from climbing, and I've been dealing with some friendship/family issues. This ALL happened at the same time. I told my partner that I'm just really struggling right now because of all the events happening. I told him I might not be able to meet for dates as often for the next two- three weeks because I have an arm brace on/need to take care of my family. He seemed to have understood and told me to let him know if there is anything he can do (which now I know its LVM behavior, he should have already done something for me). Then there was a day where I was in back to back meetings and training the whole day at work then after work I had to take care of family matters with an injured shoulder. I didn't even have time to eat that day and I forgot to message back and called him the first thing in the morning to explain what happened as well as apologize. He said he understood and figured that be the case.

But the thing is...

He was MIA until I responded back, then he would complain about his work when we were catching up while he knows how much I'm struggling. I understand that it can't be all about me but it felt like he didn't care what I said and it just felt a little passive aggressive overall. Also, after this incident, as if it was some free pass he started to skip a day to respond as well just because I did it once.

I was conflicted for a bit because I thought he could be the best person I've had compared to my last one but I don't think this relationship is no different to feeling neglected and lonely.

This time I handled it differently. First off, I didn't invest myself early on which probably saved me another heart break. In the past, I didn't know better, I didn't have FDS, and I didn't have therapy but now I have all of this plus I'm working on myself/taking care of me. Thanks to FDS I'm recognizing my worth and most importantly I'm choosing to walk away when it's not right for me.