I seriously was so unaware. I didn't even know what red flags were, what boundaries even meant and how self worth is everything. Every signs and warnings FDS taught me was my ex.

-First date was a coffee date at 7pm.

**(We should never agree to a coffee date no hvm offers a coffee date esp after 2pm).

-After three dates he confesses to liking me but also after three dates he tells me his sob story of how his ex cheated on him but he is "over" her.

**(Victim mentality, manipulation tactic)

-His relationship lasted 5yrs and was out of it for 6 months (which is when we met).

**(Waaaay to soon to jump into a new relationship, hence he barely worked on himself or healed).

-Wanted me to basically move in within a few months of dating.

**(Rushing into a relationship is always a NO).

-Posted me on his IG 2 months into dating and nagged me for months to post him on mine which I waited out for a while.

**rushing the relationship

-Later in the relationship, he small talks on how he had a fling, lasted two weeks, thought she was ugly and after he met me he ended it. THEN he tells me right before we became official he met up with her for a last lunch. He basically monkey branched to me.

**(This should have been my sign to leave and the sign that he is telling who he is: a user at heart as long as it benefits him).

-Wanted to meet my family within a month of dating and he tried so hard to convince me to meet his but I kept postponing which led to 5 months after of dating. He guilt trip me constantly saying how I wasn't trusting him and that I wasn't committed.

** (Again, rushing into everything could imply he is super insecure and trying to hide something).

-Constantly talked about his ex. Beginning was I was so much better to I wasn't as smart as she was or enough. Then constant criticism towards me, my family, my career, my friends.

**(Triangulation, emotional abuse, belittling).

-He was deeply insecure and very immature. Cried so many times when things didn't go his way. One example out of many- the second time I meet his mom on Christmas, he snapped at me then started crying because I wasn't holding his two large dogs strongly enough and made him stressed out /trip over them.

**(Manipulation, again just another version showing his insecurities and projections).

-Whenever we visited his parents house, he was never around and either doing something for his mom or fixing something in the house leading me to always be left alone.

**(inconsiderate, selfish and careless all at once).

-He rarely apologized, everything was my fault or his ex's.

**(Taking no accountability is a major red flag).

-He started off praising and telling me I was the one in the beginning of the relationship to becoming hot and cold on a daily basis.

**(Love bombing)

-Constantly guilt trip me when I was holding my ground or just ignoring it all.

**(No respect in boundaries or has one for himself). . .

All of these behaviors I have experienced led me into therapy and thank goodness it did because I'm not the same person I was one year ago.

I know I'm not healed. I'm better but not quite where I want to be yet. However I do know that the relationship I had with him was not something I deserved. I'm more than what he tried to make me into and no one deserves to be treated the way I was. If I have known about FDS earlier than I would have NEVER gotten into a relationship with this loser but still, I'm glad I learned now than never. I am actively working on myself: trying new hobbies, cut off every toxic relationship or friendship, exercising, working on advancing my career, and most importantly working my best on improving my self esteem.

Healing isn't easy, I still wake up from nightmares related to my ex or the experience I had but in all, I know I am better and I truly appreciate FDS and I'm grateful for the lessons learned.

Edit- added my analysis of each of his behaviors