Are these red flags?

gitepor · 2020-05-02T14:57:38+00:00

Why do you wanna give him a chance so bad???

mountaindewme22 · 2020-05-02T15:19:42+00:00

He apologised and seemed quite embarrassed, and made a big effort to be nice.

He wasn't sorry and he wasn't embarrassed hence why he hasn't stopped.

And even if he decided to stop now, he's made it very clear what kind of guy he is. The one who's brain is constantly circling back to sex despite the conversation not warranting it. He's probably porn sick and definitely not a hvm.

Move on.

shade_of_ara · 2020-05-02T16:00:14+00:00

An apology without changed behavior is just manipulation. This guy has no respect for you at all.

And talking about how you're "so chilled" is also manipulation. He's trying to push you into attempting to be consistent with a "positive" image he's made of you.

cantstopthemachine77 · 2020-05-02T15:10:47+00:00

He doesn’t respect your stated boundaries, huge red flag. Block and move on.

The fact that you wrote a post about him means you’ve already given this guy more of your time and energy than he deserves.

2020-05-02T16:15:32+00:00

Respect. It's all about respect. If a man brings up sex so early on, and keeps persisting despite your uncomfort, he does not respect YOU. When people don't respect your boundaries, they don't respect you. Sex is his goal. If you're looking for an actual loving relationship, it does not start out like that.

mightbethrowawayyy · 2020-05-02T16:59:50+00:00

Red flags everywhere!

sexual comment early on
“it’s cool to meet a girl so chilled”
did not change his behavior after you clearly communicated your boundaries

He apologized and seemed embarrassed and put a nice facade for a little longer. Did he show more respect to you? No.

He just changed from “I’m gonna sext this chick right away” to “oof this chick is playing hard to get. Guess I need to pretend to be nice and send 10 innocent texts before sexting her”

kwalden2 · 2020-05-02T16:17:40+00:00

There is a big difference between showing reasonable sexual interest and flat-out objectifying you. One is okay, and one is not. Which one is he doing?

Having standards doesn't have to mean a man can't compliment your legs or make an abstract, slightly naughty, funny joke once a month. But if he's not at all funny to you, and he sexualizes every other sentence, he's a scrote.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-05-02T18:45:55+00:00

Your second red flag is that he tries to act like you're "not like the other girls". The first red flag and the reason you should've blocked immediately was the first time he made a sexual comment to "fish around" and see if he could use you for emotional, sexual favors. And then you told him not to do it again and he just keeps pushing that boundary. Boundaries are supposed to be firm and not moveable. As soon as you told him no and he did it again, you should've ceased all contact. I think you know this already so I'm not sure why you are here asking for opinions.

Title	Are these red flags?
Author	Brightvenus
Upvotes	7
Comments	16
Date	May 2, 2020 8:26 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gc31ed/are_these_red_flags/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/are-these-red-flags.677105 https://theredarchive.com/post/677105

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