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Big shock here

confused_desklamp

May 7, 2020
310 upvotes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

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Post Information
Title Big shock here
Author

confused_desklamp

Upvotes 310
Comments 19
Date May 7, 2020 10:54 AM UTC
(6 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gf4dab/big_shock_here/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/big-shock-here.676770
https://theredarchive.com/post/676770
Top posts by confused_desklamp

One of my old friends shared this on facebook and tagged her husband... can't imagine 1. knowing anyone this irresponsible 2. thinking that this is cute/funny or 3. that she'd actually air her problems with him publicly like this......

433 upvotes
June 16, 2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Comments

[–]royaldetourFDS Newbie173 points174 points175 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

They really can't help but to flatter themselves. Lord grant me the confidence of a mediocre man!

[–]Nicolo_UltraFDS Newbie49 points50 points51 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Reminds me of that AITA post about OP's pregnant wife being annoying and demanding. At one point he was like "and I totally help around the house, I do just as much as she does" and all he said he does is take out the trash and laundry (just his own laundry, I'm sure). The delusion is real folks.

[–]bananas4noneFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

And if she is pregnant he should probably be doing more housework than her

[–]royaldetourFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You KNOW he's not replacing the garbage bag, putting the new ones in the cans either!

[–]radical__daphneRuthless Strategist67 points68 points69 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

They probably got asked to answer a question twice in a 30-minute period and counted the entire 30-minute period while they were playing video games as helping the kid with homework.

[–]EclecticBarbarellaFDS Apprentice70 points71 points72 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Haha I saw a thread on Reddit about that “study” last night. The comments were all dudes going NUTS about how ThEy HeLp, and like 99% of them were just listing basic stuff that any adult should do. And then there were the comments about “I offer to help and my wife says she’ll just do it” with people just dragging them in the comments. It was exactly the shitshow you would expect.

[–]SewudFDS Apprentice23 points24 points25 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

“I offer to help and my wife says she’ll just do it”

MAN'S FAVORITE EXCUSE.

Nothing actually stops him from starting the dishes himself, but instead of doing it, he "offers to do it", just to make her feel like the burden of assigning the task is on her. Wife is nice so she says "don't worry about it, I'll do it". Any selfless person would rather do something themselves than tell others what to do. Man says "oh okay" and goes play video games. "Weird, my mom wife never wants me to do chores"

[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Yea you know what though women need to just let them do it. “Oh you wanna do the dishes? Okay great. Thanks!” Stop feeling bad and just let him.

[–]SewudFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

They don't have to ask though. You offer to help when you're a guest in someone's house. When it's your house, you do it. It's a question of initiative. When I was a kid I didn't take the initative to cook dinner. But if I arrived and saw my mom handing three cauldrons and cutting boards, then I'd be like "can I do something, do you need something". But that's not taking initiative to get things done.

[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I know I am not saying they should ask I’m just saying what a woman should do in that situation. If your man is asking if he can help let him help. Period. Telling him no in the first place is probably why he offers. See the problem here is he asks, you say no so now not only does he not have to do anything but he gets to feel good about it too! Gtfoh. I would gladly hand him the sponge and gloves.

[–]SewudFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

They wouldn't ask if they didn't know you'd say no. This is their way of earning points. They offer stuff that they know will be turned down, and they get congratulated for it. Men are manipulative creatures. You could surprise him once and say yes, but he won't offer again. So then he will just be a normal man who doesn't help and doesn't offer to help.

[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Okay but then you have a case. Then you can say “you need to help out more”. Then he can’t pat himself on the back like he did something. Fact is you don’t really know what he’ll do or what his intent is but who cares this is about what you can do instead of expecting him to just “get it”.

Having him ask and then you say no just gives him more license to do nothing it doesn’t help you at all. I get that as women we can be made to feel bad about being assertive but this sub is about being more direct about what you want and making actual changes in your behavior to get what you want from men.

[–]SewudFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

No one is asking him to "just get it". We're warning not to date these men, not giving advice on training them.

[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Okay but if you are already married you’re probably not divorcing over this.

[–]EclecticBarbarellaFDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

There were a reassuring number of people (including a number of guys) replying with some version of exactly this message so it was nice to see people collectively call out the bs for once. There are some subs where it would have been defended.

[–]Sage_PlanterFDS Disciple40 points41 points42 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No surprises there.

[–]lunacmooncFDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Shocked-pikachu.jpg

[–]open_heart_shrink 13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

delusional

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