call me crazy but, i hate it when redditors say "Long Term Relationship"

kantarra · 2020-01-10T02:26:07+00:00

Interesting, I never thought about the wording of "long-term relationship" vs "partner" and what it might imply before. I think you might be on to something. Even if someone isn't looking to get married ever, if they were serious about finding a partner for life, then why wouldn't they just write that instead?

holodeckdeathtrap · 2020-01-10T10:36:11+00:00

I think you're right. LTR seems like code for "girlfrend I'm not gonna marry." The amount of time you have to be with someone exclusively in order to call it an LTR is long enough that he knows he doesn't want to marry you but is just keeping you around until he meets someone he does see himself marrying.

Amelania · 2020-01-10T02:33:04+00:00

If it's following the pattern of everything else related to dating, it's probably because of OLD apps. The popular versions offer "long-term relationship" as the most solid, committed option. So 5 years, an ill-advised engagement thrown in for excitement, followed by the break-up is the ultimate end goal apparently.

eru378 · 2020-01-10T11:10:10+00:00

Thank you! Yet again a smart woman on this sub puts something into words that I've always had weird feelings about but couldn't quite put my finger on. I don't want a "long-term relationship", I want to get married. LTRs are pick-me arrangements.

Men who are afraid of firm commitment and the responsibilities of marriage generally have weak characters and it's actually nice of them to signal their LV status clearly to us by using these wishy-washy phrases and framing.

m4dam3x · 2020-01-10T02:23:49+00:00

I agree that people should speak more purposefully. In many cases it is likely lack of awareness /ignorance on the part of the speaker.

You make a great point.

greenteaapplepie69 · 2020-01-10T08:31:25+00:00

[deleted]

Misandryte · 2020-01-10T03:41:52+00:00

You are not crazy. This is a completely rational observation based on the realities you see around you.

I’ve never thought about it like this before, but I think you’re right. “LTR” is a contract. The term isn’t necessarily synonymous with marriage or life commitment at all.

throwawayfordocs2 · 2020-01-10T02:03:11+00:00

I think a lot of people say long term relationship because there’s no telling what the future may hold. Also if you’ve been together for a long time it makes sense. Words match and all that.

2020-01-10T19:27:38+00:00

Good point OP. Long relationships are rarely lifelong and don't always lead to mariage nowadays. These people who talk about LTR probably mean 3 or 4 years.

It says a lot when even LTR are kinda treated like the one night stands: they imply they will get tired of someone or find someone more entertaining.

Also, people see mariage as something too serious, and want their relationship to be more like dating than being serious. That's their own fears and perception of mariage. And says a lot about themselves

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Title	call me crazy but, i hate it when redditors say "Long Term Relationship"
Author	greenteaapplepie69
Upvotes	49
Comments	26
Date	January 10, 2020 1:59 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/emk0nz/call_me_crazy_but_i_hate_it_when_redditors_say/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/call-me-crazy-but-i-hate-it-when-redditors-say.685167 https://theredarchive.com/post/685167

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