This is my first post here, and I figure this is a safe space to rant about something I've noticed regarding communication. I'm sure others here may (unfortunately) relate:
When LVM tell us to communicate, they almost always mean "do all the thinking for me and tell me explicitly what you mean." (I think at this point we're all familiar with emotional labor)
LVM, in my experience, are content to (sometimes intentionally!) ignore all body language or nonverbal cues and then blame the women for being "bad at mature communication".
But that's just it - I am communicating.
When are we gonna talk about how nonverbal communication, body language, voice intonation, and reading between the lines of a situation are just as important in mature communication as saying something with your words?
Why is it okay to harp on someone for not communicating verbally, but ignoring my body language is totally acceptable because "Hey, you didn't say anything, we can't read your mind!!11!"
Maybe you can't literally hear the thoughts inside my mind, but come on, man, you CAN use your intuition and context clues.
Is she giving you short, one-word answers? Avoiding eye contact? Stop talking to her!
Does she seem distant to you but not to others? Reflect on what you might have done.
Does she seem distant in general? Something is wrong, let her know you're here unconditionally.
She walks away from you? Leave her alone!!
These are just a few examples, and of course a healthy relationship has a balance of both types of communication, verbal and nonverbal. I personally value someone who can pick up on what I'm conveying without me having to spell it out for them; it lets me know they care about my well being and are paying attention to my emotions.
I'm very good at being in tune to someone's emotions, and I don't think I should have to apologize for wanting the same thing for me. Sure, it may take me a while to find someone like this, but it is damn well better than the alternative (settling).
I'm just sick to death of women being labeled as "not good communicators" when it seems to me, in many situations, it's the other way around.
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