So, I'd always been an extreme pickme, then I discovered FDS from all the bad posts about it on reddit, how bad, extreme, equivalent to incels it was, ya know all that bullshit?

But I've really been following this sub and I am grateful, I also have tried to implement strategies which I found hard at first due to always wanting to be a people pleaser.

I always would put myself out or down so that others (particularly male exs) would do/feel better. 👌🤡

Anyway, I was talking to some guy, and usually with negging I would just laugh it off, and this was the first time I addressed it. I was anxious to, I was so used to accepting it and didn't wanna hurt his pwecious feewings - but I said screw it - and let me tell you if any of you have doubts about calling out people who neg you - DON'T.

It's SO satisfying it had me laughing at my phone. Seeing them backtrack. If a man insults you backhandedly, ask him to explain, or insult him back in the same way and block.

The guy negged me by implying where I was from in my country meant I was 'rough' or like a criminal. Where I live there's a slight 'divide' between parts of the country, so it's stereotyped that people from his part are better and people in my area are scum of the earth.

So yeah we said where we were from and he implied that I would be a ruder person than him due to where we were from! E.g. 'Oh, that's such a your area thing 😂' when talking about rude or bad things people do.

Usually I'd ignore it or laugh it off but not this time, I straight up asked him 'was that an insult?' And implied that he was ruder due to his area (a bit petty but trying to neg him back a bit and show him what it's like).

He did a full 180°, went back on it, insisted it 'wasn't an insult' and sent loads of messages, explained that anything said was a joke with no meaning, etc. And you know what, it was so satisfying. I will no longer fear confronting negging.

Most of the time they will realise they fucked up, that you don't tolerate any shit from people, and will desperately try and claw their way back for your respect.

Never fear confronting someone who negs! They know what they're doing, don't think you have to put yourself down for men to like you - I genuinely used to think like this... But a true respectable man would not 'joke' about how you're less than him, men who do are usually projecting cause he does feel he's better than you (and most likely all women).

So thank you FDS, this sub is everything I needed and helped me through an extremely abusive relationship (not mentioned in the post) I only wish I'd found it sooner.