Does anybody else feel like men use them?

vee_aye_aye_aye · 2021-04-25T15:06:08+00:00

They do use you. That's why you use FDS against them. So they can't use you or worse.

_queeeen_ · 2021-04-25T15:08:07+00:00

It’s not time to give up, it’s time to embrace FDS harder. Here’s what FDS would lovingly say:

Your standards are probably way too low. You’re probably giving chances to men who are throwing up red flags and don’t deserve a text back, let alone your body. This isn’t about your behavior being a problem, this is about you being awake in your own life and taking control, and not letting users run the show. You are the boss.

I used to feel used often by men after dates even when it didn’t get remotely physical. I would feel sad they weren’t as caring or warm as I wanted them to be. I was seeing what I wanted to see in them, ignoring the signs they weren’t it, and getting hurt.

Leveling up, raising your standards and self-esteem, and learning your boundaries will insulate you from this want and hurt. It might not get you a man. That’s actually not the goal. The goal is to feel bliss on your own and learn how to recognize a good man (HVM) when you see one, and maybe give him a chance. But leave the rest of the users to the side so they can’t play you and steal your peace.

You can do this. 💕

spinsterchachkies · 2021-04-25T15:26:50+00:00

Yes. This is the norm. Finding a partner to love and spend your life with is rare. Men just use and discard women. That’s why FDS exists it’s depressing but that’s where we are at

Fatt3stAveng3r · 2021-04-25T15:39:56+00:00

That's why you need to vet, vet, vet.

Always work on improving yourself. Raise your own self esteem and standards first. Instead of getting attached quickly, look at them as strangers. Would you give a stranger the keys to your car? Would you let someone you've only known three weeks have control of your bank account? I hope the answer is "no". And - if you wouldn't give them control of your car or bank account - why would you give them control of your heart?

Look at every dating scenario as completely objectively as your most critical friend would be of the guys you date.

Take a few months and put in work on yourself. Dating is hard work.

Davina33 · 2021-04-25T15:50:21+00:00

Yep they will and there isn't anything they won't say or do to get some pussy. I'm an attractive woman but I'm not Beyoncé and when men say I look like her to get in my knickers, it's hilarious. They are much worse now thanks to dating apps, they always think there's a much better woman around the corner. Yet they always come back, without fail when they discover there isn't. I will never use dating apps ever again for this reason. Older men are just as bad, please don't make the mistake in believing they want to settle down. There are more Peter Pans than ever.

level_up_always · 2021-04-25T16:40:02+00:00

Welcome to patriarchy they all do even if it’s just getting you to ‘smile’ god I hate emotional labor with a passion

pat_labor_of_love · 2021-04-25T15:07:57+00:00

Sad but true. Good men are very few and far between.

thiswomanthatiknow · 2021-04-25T15:25:18+00:00

Men use and abuse women, and that is why this community exists.

I know it can’t be only me, I feel a lot of girls are played, used, thrown away and replaced by men as if they are objects.

Girls date boys, women date men, and if men are dating girls, then we're talking about grooming and pedophilia, which is a separate conversation (which we also have here).

You're asking this question at a few other subs, and it feels like you don't even understand this community or its intent, which makes me wonder why you're writing posts here. We're not some rando collective of thirsty women; this is a feminist community committed to helping women commit to themselves before they commit to a heterosexual relationship. The whole reason we're here and we're hated by Reddit is because we speak honestly about male behavior and socialization. Based on your question, you'll probably appreciate the conversations we have here, but this a community, not a message board for bored women surfing the web at random.

Please read the handbook.

Only_Lime2520 · 2021-04-25T17:07:01+00:00

Yes Im so done with the whole “treating others how I would like to be treated” and giving my all to men. I would rather devote that energy elsewhere 🤧and demand return on investment.

Im naturally charming and a good entertainer and I can’t tell you how many times I ve been played bringing that energy to a relationship 🙃

2021-04-25T16:31:51+00:00

Yup they sadly do. Even the seemingly “good” ones. One of my friends once told me a “gentleman is just a horny man with patience.”

miss_peach94 · 2021-04-25T17:17:29+00:00

Pretty much all men I've dated. Only 1 was the exception and he was still a LVM

Exsqueeze_meh · 2021-04-25T17:23:57+00:00

100% Men are users, and especially users of women. Especially on the dating scene, they know exactly what they are doing. They play every woman the same so they can get some sex a few times and then they do the pulling away game and ghost.

I'm done with dating too. Vetting takes too much energy and I don't want a partner enough to wast my time anymore. You're not a lone and definitely do not lower your standards, there's zero point in that.

Title	Does anybody else feel like men use them?
Author	AngelicLyrics
Upvotes	96
Comments	12
Date	April 25, 2021 10:53 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/my5xlf/does_anybody_else_feel_like_men_use_them/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/does-anybody-else-feel-like-men-use-them.777238 https://theredarchive.com/post/777238

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