Don't.

giftofnocondemnation · 2020-06-23T20:55:50+00:00

I did that for years. I forgave physical and emotional abuse over and over and over. For what? ptsd, depression. Forgive him for the first fuck up, then leave. Never ever let him hurt you again. He's not worth it, trust me.

daintydangerous · 2020-06-23T21:50:44+00:00

The thing is, EVERY time there’s a ‘first incident,’ there’s more incidents. Every single time someone had disrespected me, and i allowed them to remain in my life, more disrespect followed. In the good friendships and relationships I’ve had, they are NEVER disrespectful. I don’t need to sit them down and explain how to treat me, they just treat me well. You won’t make any progress trying to teach people to treat you well. They know how to treat people well, they just don’t want to, and you’re not going to be different.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

SavvyPanther · 2020-06-24T03:25:43+00:00

I hate doing that!! It’s the worst!

When I was in elementary school, Oprah had this woman on her show who described her experience in a coma. She said that she saw the patterns of her life going around in circles and when she didn’t break the pattern, it repeated and the consequences just kept getting bigger and bigger. For some reason that stuck with me.

The idea of this growing consequences for repeated actions is one of the reasons that I’m getting a divorce. My husband had an affair with his intern while I was pregnant, and it broke my heart. People keep telling me to try and make my marriage work because I have a new daughter and he’s got a good career and he’s good looking and we have a nice life and and and... but I just keep thinking that if the pattern isn’t broken, he’ll break my heart again and then I’ll have more kids and more ties to my life that will make it even harder to move on.

Maybe if I had noticed the smaller red flags earlier on, I could have spared myself a lot of pain, but I know that I’m saving future me from a lot of anxiety and heartache by not letting myself be caught in this torturous loop of forgiveness.

willowgrowingroots · 2020-06-23T21:47:59+00:00

Once you break the cycle it's going to be grief and relief at the same time. As time goes on it's just going to be relief. The grief will want to make you go back but know it will eventually disappear if you stick to putting yourself first.

LunaPNW · 2020-06-23T20:29:29+00:00

Yes, ugh! No more 👏

Flightlessbirbz · 2020-06-23T22:56:31+00:00

Twice seems to be my M.O. I’ll give a second chance when I really shouldn’t and I know I shouldn’t and then of course the same shit happens.

venuspearl · 2020-06-25T02:09:09+00:00

My last relationship in a nutshell. I am in pieces now.

Title	Don't.
Author	meezapizza
Upvotes	403
Comments	17
Date	June 23, 2020 8:18 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hem5ux/dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dont.699525 https://theredarchive.com/post/699525

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