LVM all up my ass about wanting to date me, I politely decline.

Great they want to “just be friends” because “I didn’t want to date you anyway! I always just wanted to be friends.”

Great. We hang out, I talk about the things going on in my life, I chat about the guys I’m actually interested in and suddenly “OMFG wHy aRE yoU talKing ABouT oTHer MeN?! I dONt waNNa heAr aBoUT tHat!!”

Uh...okay... you wanted to be my friend? I talk to my friends about the guys Im pursing...so do you NOT want to be friends??

Then immediately they start bitching about some girl that’s interested in them but she sucks for (what seems like) completely nonsense reasons.

So I can’t talk about guys I want, but you can talk about girls you don’t want? Dude you’re clearly just still trying to get into my pants, HARD PASS.

This has happened THREE times now with guys I don’t want to date but want to “just be friends”

GET OVER yourself and have some perspective. You’re not entitled to my fine ass, and agreeing to be your friend is a GIFT I’ve bestowed upon you and immediately regretted.