Hello fellow Queens, I am a long time lurker who is finally making myself official as an FDS member. FDS completely opened my eyes to so many things and changed my life, though honestly I'm still just at the beginning. I was raised by a narcissistic mother and as a result I've attracted one narcissistic partner after another. I'm currently trying to break out of the trauma bond I have with a horrible narcissistic manchild of a NVM...sadly this has been going on for a very long time. He is a disgusting misogynistic gaslighter, and he knows exactly how to get the reaction he wants from me and then paint himself as the victim. I have stories for days on what I've allowed this NVM to put me through. Unfortunately I was very damaged and depressed when I met him. But then I found this group, which has made things very inconvenient for him and his pathological entitlement issues.

Last night he attempted to triangulate me and then played dumb and made me out to be crazy when I called him out on it. He can try to deflect as much as he wants, I know what I see. Once you know FDS you can't unsee anything anymore, it's just all there in plain sight. After saying countless vile things to me last night, this morning I receive a text from him saying that he can't believe that he has to put up with all these "unnecessary fights and nonsense" despite everything else he has to deal with (his father died recently). It's crystal clear the death of his father is going to be his new favorite excuse from now until eternity. Needless to say, I haven't responded.

I can't take this anymore. He has ruined so many plans, holidays, and other things that I valued. What makes this even worse is that I have no one to talk to. I literally have no friends and no support, and I can't take feeling so lonely in this anymore. When I say I have no friends, I really mean none, zero. What I would give to have a caring group of girlfriends so that we could all uplift each other and help protect each other from things like this. I felt that at least being part of this warm and nurturing community would be a step towards my healing and leaving this abuse behind. I'm really looking forward to being a part of you all. P.S. - I hope I picked the right flair for this.