FWB Stupidity

circescircus · 2020-02-19T19:01:28+00:00

He's taking advantage of you. Don't feel sorry for him-- he is exploiting you with no remorse. You don't love yourself. You need to help yourself and save yourself.

Besides the last line you wrote, you wrote 13 sentences and 11 sentences were about this guy. Only 2 were about you. The 2 sentences you wrote about YOU...

"So, it isn't working for me."

"Ugh, I know the answer is just disconnect."

SureEmployment4 · 2020-02-19T19:02:16+00:00

First of all if I were you, I would take any complaints he has about his “abusive” gf with a grain of salt. You’re essentially the other woman, it’s not uncommon for men in these situations to paint their SO in a negative light in order to gain your sympathy and a sense of competition. You aren’t in the relationship so you will never be certain about what’s actually going on. He’s likely not boyfriend of the year, but of course he would never admit it.

He’s not willing to leave his relationship. You’re in love with him. Cut the cord. If you meant anything to him, you wouldn’t be in this position.

venomous_g · 2020-02-19T20:12:08+00:00

You are his emotional pressure valve, and he will continue to blow off steam with you, emotionally and sexually, for as long as you allow... but go right back home to his (allegedly)drunk, (supposedly) abusive girlfriend. Leave him (and her) to their own drama.

penelopekitty · 2020-02-19T21:14:42+00:00

Girl, what are you doing with this mess? He's not your friend and there are no benefits. Extricate yourself ASAP. Don't worry about what he thinks.

Firefly10886 · 2020-02-19T21:12:11+00:00

The sooner you cut the cord the sooner you heal. This isn’t healthy for you and you know it.

NoThisIs-Patrick · 2020-02-19T19:05:30+00:00

He is allowed other relationships when she isn't with him but she is with him pretty much 24/7 (can’t keep a job). So, It isn’t working for me.

Are you saying he's basically allowed to be with other women but she isn't? Have you talked to this woman yourself to verify any of his claims?

I know she is at least highly verbally abusive to him and I am one of his only friends.

He chooses to stay with her. He can leave. And he has no male friends of his own?

It prob important to say that I love him more than just friends. He doesn’t love me that way.

Clearly. He claims this other chick is so awful to him but he can't be with you? What, she relies on him and he can't kick her out or she'll have nowhere to go? Is he her daddy? Do you really believe that?

And my friendship can’t save him. He needs to help himself.

Again, help himself with what? Are they married? What's stopping him from getting help. If he kicks her out you know women's shelters are a thing, right?

If you tell him at all that you are no longer interested in your current dynamic it sounds like he'll just be able to sweet talk you back into your arrangement.

saltyandpepa · 2020-02-19T19:14:58+00:00

Yes, you need to cut this off and raise your standards. Whatever time you waste on him is time you could be with a man who actually appreciates and desires you. His well-being is not your concern. You're right, he's the one who needs to help himself - there's nothing you can do. Doesn't really matter how you cut him off, as long as you do. You have to take care of yourself first.

SarcasmSlide · 2020-02-19T19:49:29+00:00

Have you read the FDS materials in the sidebar? Are you familiar with the core of FDS principles?

Edit: I see you posted this on /r/AskMen, also. We can’t help those who won’t help themselves. Please read everything in the sidebar.

responsiblenatures · 2020-02-19T19:21:59+00:00

If he cared about you as a friend then he'll make an effort to keep you in his life once you stop having sex with him.

Friendships are two way streets. Let's see if pulls his weight.

Warrior-Kai · 2020-02-19T19:42:09+00:00

[deleted]

Warrior-Kai · 2020-02-19T20:03:23+00:00

Ok I am a new reddit user. I don’t understand how to use it yet really.

Warrior-Kai · 2020-02-19T20:17:20+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Title	FWB Stupidity
Author	Warrior-Kai
Upvotes	1
Comments	18
Date	February 19, 2020 5:30 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f6e2ed/fwb_stupidity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/fwb-stupidity.682023 https://theredarchive.com/post/682023

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