Gaslighting red flags

onceuponasea · 2020-12-18T01:25:23+00:00

I’m not gonna lie I definitely feel like I did these things in my last relationship. If I didn’t like something, or felt offended, I would pull back and be less affectionate, text less frequently, etc. and his attachment style was definitely anxious attachment, so he would heavily pursue me when I pulled back. And I 100% assigned motives that was the opposite of his intentions- I always thought that there was some ulterior motive to his compliments, nice gestures, him opening up to me, etc.

When I see stuff like this, it confuses me so much. Like, was my mind playing tricks on me? Or was he actually the covert narcissist, or am I the covert narcissist? Ugh, and this is what makes me go back to him every time. Can anyone relate?

slothsomesauce · 2020-12-17T23:54:22+00:00

I wish I had this community when I was dealing with my ex. Gaslighting was his M.O. and it DESTROYED me. Glad I know better now.

daisy_0720 · 2020-12-18T13:57:29+00:00

"They assign motives to your actions that are the opposite of your intentions." UGH, why the FUCK do they do this? It's infuriating.

Spraytyasha · 2020-12-18T09:51:03+00:00

One time a dude gaslighted me by saying I was gaslighting him. All I had said to induce this was "Hey could you please text me when you leave? I have to finish my paper", because he was always late and I could put in some work while waiting instead of just sitting around.

evergreenarchivist · 2020-12-18T13:13:30+00:00

I really needed to see this today. Thank you, the perspective helped a lot. I’m still learning how to trust myself when my intuition spots these things and seeing it spelled out externally is just what I needed to take the action that’s probably been necessary for a while.

tl;dr thank you for sharing love, seeing this lit a fire under my ass to do something about it!

Title	Gaslighting red flags
Author	gfcacdista
Upvotes	470
Comments	10
Date	December 17, 2020 10:40 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kf83jm/gaslighting_red_flags/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/gaslighting-red-flags.730954 https://theredarchive.com/post/730954

Comments