Help I Need Out!

redbirdflies · 2020-07-27T17:04:19+00:00

Seek out your local women’s shelter and look up information on domestic violence. Do so quietly and cover your tracks so he won’t find out. If you’re in the states, there are more services due to covid because many women are being abused at a higher rate during this time

Start squirreling money away. Small amounts add up quickly

He cannot take your child. In the US you can file for custody and child support and if you don’t have a lawyer, one can be appointed to you and another for your child. Most judges side with the mother

You should start documenting proof of his abuse. If he hits you, call the cops and file a domestic violence report. That will help with the custody battle

Good luck. Keep us updated. We are here for you

Pasdepromesses · 2020-07-27T17:04:51+00:00

I got this from the user u/ebbie45 she has a whole ass document with recourses to help you out when you experience DV:

Please use the Hot Peach Pages international directory of domestic and sexual violence agencies to contact an advocate near you. Domestic violence advocates offer many free services, including legal advocacy, emergency shelter, safety planning, housing and financial assistance, emotional support, referrals to therapy and substance abuse programming, and assistance with accessing medical care. Many domestic violence hotlines are 24/7. Some can be contacted via phone, online chat, and/or texting.

I’m on my phone now but will add the link later!

Edit: also, I’m so sorry you have to go through this! Please if you fear for your safety, do not let him know you’re planning this! It’s very important that you keep yourself safe now and be strategic. Collect as much evidence you can get about the abuse. It might help later.

Edit2: here’s the whole document. Links for you are more in the middle: https://docs.google.com/document/d/14I3lGpEQa-pLl9Lz0JW1PoNyyOwg6WOom_oK2NMBxy8/mobilebasic#

Avoiding_existence · 2020-07-27T17:04:25+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds terrible, like a real living nightmare. First what you should do is document EVERYTHING!! If you have a text or written proof that he agreed to pay insurance for your car, hold on to it!

Don't let him know you're thinking about leaving, he will try to make your life a living hell. Best to lay low and just pretend everything is fine while you plan to escape.

Document his abusive behavior as best you can, try to get in touch with any family or local help centers to get you to a safe place. Once you are safe, cut him off completely to the best of your ability. Then go to the cops and tell them about his behavior, and that you need help. Show them the evidence of him totalling your car if you have any.

If you have any degree or education, try to look into getting a part time job with some remote work. Try to ask any friends or family who can help you find a place to stay in the meanwhile.

You can get out of this with your daughter, stay safe and hang in there!!!

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-07-27T17:30:13+00:00

In addition to the advice from the other commenters, if you have proof like text messages of him admitting to being the one who crashed the car you can take that to small claims court. If you have no income you can fill out a simple form to get a waiver. They might make you go to mediation first but if that fails then you would get a hearing with a judge. It might be a little different depending on where you live. There is usually a maximum settlement for small claims court but it should be enough to cover the cost of the accident.

Blackishcat27 · 2020-07-27T18:38:35+00:00

You have the inner strength to raise your daughter without him. I promise you do. Try not to worry too much about the debt right now. Just please please for your sake and your daughters get the hell out. Even if you think you're weak, you're not. You can do this! Everyone else has already given all the practical advice needed. We've got your back and you can come here for emotional support.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-07-27T18:30:38+00:00

Do you have family or good friends that can help you? That would be my first move.

Hhjjuuy · 2020-07-28T08:05:29+00:00

I feel like I can’t afford to raise her on my own.

This is fear. This is his voice in your head. You can afford your own child, I promise you can. Children are brought up on scraps and a prayer all over the world and they turn out just fine. Your child would rather be poor than abused or see you abused. Staying with him doesn't even guarantee your baby won't be brought up on nothing - financial abuse is rampant and he's already doing it to you.

And that's just worse case scenario. More likely you will be literally fiscally better off without having to waste your time and energy accommodating this relationship. You will be able to decide exactly what to spend and save. You will pay down the debt over time. You will be able to grow your career and increase your earning potential as your child grows. You will be ok.

dntbfllikeidid · 2020-07-27T19:57:06+00:00

Do you have family? Friends? You do what you have to do to keep you and your daughter SAFE. And this is the #1 reason why it is advised that women don’t engage in relationships with big age gaps. Much older guys are usually looking for vulnerable, inexperienced and easy prey. I wish I could be more helpful, but you need to find a way to move quickly before he realizes your plan to leave him.

Title	Help I Need Out!
Author	Anon_Need_Out97
Upvotes	56
Comments	12
Date	July 27, 2020 4:21 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hyvdtp/help_i_need_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/help-i-need-out.718829 https://theredarchive.com/post/718829

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