help me

mightbethrowawayyy · 2020-04-15T12:05:57+00:00

[deleted]

wish_i_wasntavampire · 2020-04-15T12:21:33+00:00

First, breathe. You sound anxious and distressed even from writing.

Second - block everyone and everything that had to do with your past behaviour. Block/ghost your ex. That is over for you, you're not going back.
Delete the sexual things too. You can't be a pick me if you stop engaging with males, right? And you don't want to engage with men until you get yourself sorted out. YOU ARE THE PRIORITY, not men or anyone else, stop wasting time on them.

Third - I'd suggest getting off the internet for a bit. Just chill and breathe. Do something for yourself, whatever you'd like. You deserve it. Spoil yourself. You've been treated badly and taken advantage off, which caused you to start doubting your own sanity on top of whatever mental health issues you have.

When you're done, return back to this sub. DON'T return back to males. Read the handbook, look around a bit. Continue doing things that make you feel good. Get into new hobbies, the quarantine is a good time. If you feel like doing something pick me, turn here for support.

You can absolutely be HV with a mental illness, but you need to be 1. actively taking care of your mental health 2. good at putting yourself first 3. even better at vetting men. Don't believe guys who try to tell you otherwise, it's a way to manipulate women.

queendorkus · 2020-04-15T12:31:17+00:00

I'm not going to say your problems don't exist. But start with knowledge. Getting through the handbook really helped me detach from something I never thought I would be able to. Sounds like you're on the brink of a revelation and you just need to keep pushing. Eat up all that knowledge and perspectives then do the things you're not ready to do like kick the junk out of your life once it's realized.

I never thought I would kick those ex pieces of shits out of my life but im telling you. Its going to happen once you start investing in Yourself and not them anymore. It feels really good on the other side. I'm super grateful for this community and the things it's taught me. Ps I've suffered from depression for years. You know what helps? No longer being leeched off of by emotional and physical vampires. ✊

magenta_mojo · 2020-04-15T13:53:34+00:00

Therapy helped me so much with my low self-esteem. Have you given it a try?

AyemHerself · 2020-04-15T16:06:37+00:00

Yes, you can become high value with a mental illness. But it requires ongoing effort and a lot of self reflection.

EmpressOfDankness · 2020-04-15T19:52:32+00:00

Yes, you can absolutely be a HVW with mental illness! The first step is to block your low value ex. There is nothing positive he can do for you anymore, and this will help you resist the temptation to speak to him because he will try to rope you back in. Get rid of social media if you tend to act like a pickme on there. Stop dating for a while and focus on yourself. This may be difficult if you're not used to being alone. Get into therapy, specifically DBT - the gold standard therapy for BPD - if you haven't already. Work on your attachment and abandonment issues extensively before you even think about reentering the world of dating. Read the FDS handbook and make it your Bible. This process will likely take a long time, I won't lie to you. But you can do this!

tobikko · 2020-04-15T15:52:59+00:00

put yourself first

radical__daphne · 2020-04-15T20:59:31+00:00

Definitely get lots of therapy. Cultivate an inner voice that you can turn to that's steady. Work on loving and liking yourself.

SaltKoala · 2020-04-15T16:18:12+00:00

Are you sure you have BPD? It’s notoriously misdiagnosed. I’d get multiple opinions if I were you, if you haven’t already that is.

Neon_Kittens · 2020-04-15T12:04:34+00:00

[removed]

Title	help me
Author	Mimiriam
Upvotes	50
Comments	16
Date	April 15, 2020 11:57 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g1qjgv/help_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/help-me.692686 https://theredarchive.com/post/692686

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