How not to do 50/50?

Summerisle7 · 2020-08-24T21:15:37+00:00

Well first of all, you don't split rent, housing, utilities, childcare, with anyone you're not married to.

For serious dating and marriage, I feel it's best to choose someone in a similar income bracket to you.

You should have the discussion of how your household finances will work, long before moving in together or getting engaged or married. It's a lot to talk about, including bills, debts, savings, goals, retirement, etc. There are a lot of budgetting softwares out there.

I would say you should always keep a separate bank account and overall it seems fair for each person to contribute to the household in proportion to their income. Keep in mind that your existing child is your expense, not a shared expense.

Interested to see what others have to say on this!

tellmesomething11 · 2020-08-24T21:53:49+00:00

First, create that mindset in your mind. It’s more than just wanting it, you also have to vet ruthlessly. Look for men in your bracket or higher. Or look for men who are living their life the way you want. There are plenty of blue collar men making a very good living, have their own homes, boat, very low debt, etc.

When you look for a provider, sometimes when we find one, we are so grateful, when begin to do things that we believe will encourage them to stay. So let’s say you meet a man, get married and move into his home. I see someone already stated off the bat you should pay for your own childcare. But for me, I don’t even think about those things (I have two children) but they are part of the package. I’m not sure what I will pay for. I know it won’t be rent or large expenses. Or childcare, lol. I would never be with a man that made me pay for my child by myself, I might as well be alone🙄But then again, my stepdad raised all five of us, and never had his own kids- he contributed a lot! He covered the rent and put large sums into childcare, clothing, and miscellaneous, like buying my sister a flute so she could have her own instead of using the schools flute.

Some men you can pick off right away as 50/50 and some are more sneaky. They may need assistance with bills once or twice or may be short. I think the hardest thing about not doing 50/50 is not tricking YOURSELF into that model. My friend is so good at it. Her husband will sometimes say “I may be short on the mortgage,” and she always smiles and says “well I know you’ll take care of it” and she holds....she literally does not fold. Ever. And she’s been doing just fine, he pays the bills and she covers electric, cable and her cell phone. They do switch off for paying for their child’s college, each take a turn paying it each semester. That’s the only 50/50 thing they do.

So, yeah. The hardest is just being in the mindset, honestly. Once you have it down, you’ll be fine.

WhiteEqualsNazi · 2020-08-24T21:35:21+00:00

The man should provide at least 85% I'd say. If he expects you to pay for housing then you need to dump his ass.

YouProbablyDo · 2020-08-24T21:08:23+00:00

[deleted]

Levelupmama · 2020-08-25T03:06:09+00:00

Idk I never meet rich men in general. When I have they are super sleazy.

meanemad · 2020-08-25T08:03:18+00:00

I would never date/marry a man that says he will not cover a previous kid. He can try that shit with a more ugly woman. I am married and we have 3 kids, if sth happen to him i will only accept a man who takes care of us, what is the point if the man is not helping really??? for that i would happily live like a widow the rest of my life😂😂

Title	How not to do 50/50?
Author	Levelupmama
Upvotes	22
Comments	36
Date	August 24, 2020 8:03 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ifwmal/how_not_to_do_5050/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-not-to-do-5050.211962 https://theredarchive.com/post/211962

Comments