Hi Queens! So nice to see this community growing.

As someone who values my time and does not want to waste it on useless dates (probably relevant for most of us), I would like to know if you have some tips to identify a guy met online is a HVM. Or, since it is not so straightforward, to at least weed out LVM without having to see them in person. Obviously, disrespectful and misogynistic comments, sexual undertones and pathetic coffee/drink "dates" are surefire ways not to hear from me again.

In particular, it would for example be useful to figure out if a guy is planning to go Dutch. This guy I met online says where we go to eat is entirely up to me. Does it mean he expects me to pay for myself? Something I previously used is saying I can't go on a date, since I can afford it at the moment, and they say either that of course they'll pay or ask if we can just take a walk then 🤣 But I understand it is not ideal to present myself as someone who is struggling financially, so looking for other ways to check their intentions! Alternatively, I ask them to choose a restaurant, and if it is an expensive one, they are most likely not expecting me to pay. Then again, I want to be the one to choose sometimes :)

How do you deal with this?