HVM in the wild: breadwinner husband doesn’t mind providing & paying the bills because he appreciates what his wife does for him & how she makes his life easier, despite her having less coin to contribute.

modernmedusaa · 2020-02-02T09:24:52+00:00

An accomplished housekeeper and cook can cost around 50k a year, more depending where you live and who you are working for.

Sex and emotional labor is extra.

He's getting a great bargain and unlike some grunting Reddit cave-dwellers he knows it.

si_vis_amari__ama · 2020-02-02T10:54:46+00:00

I've been seeing a guy who insists on cooking for me, even if I invite him to my house on my free day, and he worked until 9pm. He wants to pay my rent while I am going abroad for my thesis fieldwork. And he also wants to take care of my cat fulltime.

Not saying he's the one, but this HVM supporting wife and her debts will be a situation I'm going to encounter, and just saying FDS works. Because if I had not ruthlessly upgraded my standards, I'd still be dealing with unsupportive men.

extraacct1234 · 2020-02-02T09:04:56+00:00

The only potential issue with this is that he really thinks he's doing 50% when the studies prove women do almost everything. It's probably more like 30/70

even_thriller · 2020-02-02T20:01:06+00:00

This is the best thing I’ve read today.

ENTPgemini · 2020-02-25T21:25:50+00:00

Wow, this gave me some renewed hope there are guys who won't be scorekeeping or undermining a women's contribution just b/c she isn't putting 50% towards bills. Women contribute in a myriad of ways, with many of the most valuable being intangible contributions.

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