I saw this shared and I felt it

themissdaydreamer · 2020-01-03T23:45:55+00:00

I used to feel like that in my last relationship. I could feel I was on constant masculine mode, not because I wanted to, but because my ex would never build a safe place for me to tune in my feminine energy. I'd never feel like a woman around him. Hell, sometimes it felt like I was the man in the relationship and he couldn't even bother. That's why is so important to trust our gut and pay attention to the energy we're giving and receiving.

FuturePigeon · 2020-01-04T14:02:27+00:00

I'm so exhausted.

Exhausted from figuring out why he's so quiet. Exhausted from finding out that he's worried about his car, exhausted from researching what it could be because he's too afraid to research himself in case it's expensive. Exhausted from finding the best way to recommend an OMB scanner compatible with his make/model and where he can buy it, but doing it without emasculating him. Exhausted from figuring out that he probably didn't put his gas cap on right which led to an evaporation warning, exhausted from being right about it. Exhausted from hearing that it's only one problem out of the many that he doesn't tell me about but I still get to suffer from the blowback of moody mornings and fussy evenings.

I don't need him to pay him to pay my bills - I make more than he does anyway. I just need him to be the fucking protagonist in his own life and steer the ship of his problems. I'm more angry with myself than with him. 21 years ago, I looked for a man to help rather than solving my own problems. After two degrees, a strong career (and recent promotion), and go-go dancing on weekends - I've realized that we never helped each other up, he just wanted someone to wallow with. When I mentioned continuing education for costume design, he immediately started complaining that I wouldn't be at home as much.

Last week, I cancelled couple's therapy. I'm going to individual therapy on my own, and hope he can keep up. Truly I love the man for many reasons, but I'm tired of carrying him across the finish line. Act like a man, or do the right thing and move out.

Itchy-Transportation · 2020-01-04T13:35:42+00:00

What does he mean by "a place where I'm seen and not heard"?

Other than that I agree 100%. We open up naturally when we're in a safe and supportive environment. Anytime we feel uncomfortable opening up to a man, it's because on some level we don't feel safe and are attempting to override that survival instinct.

Asbelowsoaboveme · 2020-01-04T19:33:25+00:00

It’s a high value man’s job in a relationship to make his lady feel safe and secure enough to be feminine. Being feminine is an inherently vulnerable state, because it’s a harsh man’s world and a feminine woman gets taken advantage of if she doesn’t put on a tough facade.

butterflymeadowzz · 2020-01-04T16:08:22+00:00

Wow. This is speaks loudly to me.

missliberia · 2020-01-04T02:30:20+00:00

I have felt like this at work and I have felt like this in relationships. I finally have a beautiful human being in my life who makes me feel safe. This hit really close to home, though.

Title	I saw this shared and I felt it
Author	Ms_Tilly
Upvotes	142
Comments	11
Date	January 3, 2020 10:21 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ejmtop/i_saw_this_shared_and_i_felt_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-saw-this-shared-and-i-felt-it.685677 https://theredarchive.com/post/685677

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