It was Mother’s Day a couple of weeks ago in the UK. Throughout our marriage my ex didn’t celebrate. He’d “forget” or claim I wasn’t his mother. Whatever. I do not miss that guy.

Once my boyfriend had met my son, I asked him whether as he got me such lovely Valentines flowers, he could help my son so that he learned to be a proper man from him. He was happy to step in and between him and my mum, I was absolutely cherished this year. My card and gift were incredibly personal and showed true understanding of me by my son.

Since my boyfriend came on the scene, my ex has stepped up a bit and this year I got a card and some cheap toiletries “from” my son. I don’t want them but was struggling with the sense of ingratitude until I realised I owe him nothing. I sent a text thanking him for helping my son this year but felt my son has things in hand now so to please not get involved any more.

I’ve developed far better boundaries since discovering FDS but because I can’t block and delete my ex, this one took me a while to figure out. I realised I don’t want anything from him in my house because it’s him imposing on my real estate (both physically and mentally). I still have a long way to go I realise but am so grateful to have this place and your voices of reason among the absurd demands that women be nice.