Lesson learnt.

Torchlover · 2020-06-10T13:29:45+00:00

Don’t tolerate a momma’s boy who just acts like he has his shit together just because he wants you. Never again💅🏾.

FurryBellyButt0n · 2020-06-10T15:15:42+00:00

The second they start shaming you for standards, boundaries, and questioning you for expecting basic human decency within your relationship TRUST that it's a TOXIC dynamic and do no second guess your gut. They are getting insecure and projecting that onto you because they know YOU DESERVE BETTER but they will NEG you so you personalize their TOXIC SHITTY TREATMENT to downplay their behavior and avoid accountability until they decide to do it to another women that does not hurt their LV/NV ego.

Believe FDS. Listen to FDS. If you can avoid the learning moment, be empowered to walk away if any of this resonates with you.

I have learned boundaries and important lessons from toxic relationships, but I would not wish the emotional pain and up-leveling process onto anyone. It's hard work and it's worth it on the other side, but we need to stop believing each of us are the exception rather than the rule with men. It is how they keep power.

frodosdojo · 2020-06-10T13:16:14+00:00

Happy Cake Day ! My lessons were hard learned and I experienced pain and trauma. The end result is that even though I am over 50, I still have plenty of life left to ENJOY and feel grateful for. I can do what I want when I want. And I can take care of myself. Honestly, I never knew what boundaries were until I got counseling after the separation a few years ago but as Iyanla says - "Boundaries will save your life !"

Mitchelia · 2020-06-10T12:00:07+00:00

Slight tech twist.... My relationship and my ex’s complete lack of compassion has taught me more about what it is to be human. I design robot interactions. I think sometime in the future I will be able to leverage the learnings from him with the depth at which I have now started to think of emotions, behaviours, motivations at a process level to design better robot programming, make the world a better place and hopefully make a very successful career.

OrchidLion · 2020-06-10T18:33:27+00:00

Don't ever think a man is "good on the inside". Some people really have no empathy. Some people ARE monsters.

Listen to your feelings. If you feel bad after you talk to him or see him, cut him off.

And DONT TRY TO CHANGE ANYONE BY COMMUNICATING REPEATEDLY. You communicate your standards ONCE. AND IF HE DISOBEYS, DISPOSE OF HIM.

bqluoeoedn · 2020-06-10T06:02:25+00:00

Yes & Happy cake day!

iHeba · 2020-06-10T11:04:42+00:00

Happy cake day 💗

breadandbunny · 2020-06-10T19:26:22+00:00

I need to be with somebody who TALKS. If you have a problem with something, just fucking TALK. SAY IT. Don't blow up out of control at me.

Lylaeth · 2020-06-10T15:10:02+00:00

If only I learned the first time lol. She’s right, I gotta put myself first. No more expensive gifts, trips, or favors. In the end I got left with less than when I met them, and I was called toxic

Happy Cake Day!

Title	Lesson learnt.
Author	owlwriteapoem
Upvotes	815
Comments	27
Date	June 10, 2020 5:59 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/h04wef/lesson_learnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/lesson-learnt.674009 https://theredarchive.com/post/674009

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